Bar Advisor

I was in the midst of my deliberation whether I should post about my feelings as to the bar exam I have taken three days ago. After reading an article (see below) I have decided to follow the advice of the author and limit my story to the following: "this was hell!" Anyway, the life is going on and you will see later how it goes for me . :-)))

Bar Advisor: "do not blog (publicly) about the bar exam until AFTER you have passed it.

Why do I say this? To begin with, a blog requires lots of psychic energy to maintain. When you draft a post, you want it to be interesting,
well-written, and timely. You worry about it before you send it off into the blogosphere where anyone can read it. When you are studying for the bar
examination, you do not have time for such a distraction and drain of mental resources.

Next, constant and public worry about failing the bar exam (which is what the majority of these bar-exam blog posts contain) will begin to infiltrate your mind and create an expectation of failure. You may not believe it, but it is true. And, guess what, if you fail, you'll be able to continue blogging about how much you hate the bar exam and your loyal readers will keep reading your posts. This is a sick form of codependency."

Court strikes down FCC indecency policy | Reuters

Court strikes down FCC indecency policy Reuters: "The U.S. Federal Communications Commission's indecency policy is unconstitutionally vague and could create a chilling effect beyond 'fleeting expletives' heard on broadcasts, an appeals court ruled on Tuesday in a major win for broadcasting companies."

Anxiety…start

It is 5 am in the morning. I am sitting on my porch in darkness with my laptop (thank you a person who created Wi-Fi). From today it is exactly 2 weeks before an exam and I am SCARED! Took a test yesterday and got frustrated – missed plenty of the points (EASY point) and forgot the simplest rules, made wrong assumptions and conclusions (EASY ones). Will I be able in two weeks to get to the point when I can say I know at least 50% of the material and PLUS I can recognize the issues? I do not know and frankly afraid of thinking of.

This is no good!

Yesterday all night I was dreaming about MPT test – what I did wrong and why, and how I should have done. MPT is the hardest part of the test for me. It is very upsetting to read how people do not even practice MPT (I do not know, however, whether they do well). They say they are doing well. I do not miss issues, but I am a very slow writer, and, frankly, I am not a good writer. As a result of lack of confidence and slowness I cannot finish even a half of the writing.

Practice, practice, practice. I am saying this to myself. Bar/Bri says. Websites say. I will try and I will see what happen; though, I am prepared for the worst.

Tough times: this summer does not exist for me, unfortunately

I was keeping myself from blogging, because I wanted to post some kind of introduction after a long absence. You see, a law school is behind now (and no regret about it). I thought maybe some thoughts related to the past three years would be a good way to open a new page of my life. But, frankly, I do not know what to write. Three years passed quickly and with many difficulties, grey thoughts and doubts. I do not think I want to look back and show my regrets or misery, if there were such (or maybe I just do not want to confess. I cannot say I had a fun time in a law school. Pressure of good grades, strong and continuous competition had been sucking out all my energy and desire to be happy and just enjoy life. Definitely I did not choose a right course of life: I did not do what I like to do (read fiction, travel, communicate with people), but selected sitting with textbooks or just doing nothing while weeping about my unhappy days in a law school. By no means have these sentences had a purpose to discourage new law school applicants from going to school (though you would better think before you make such decision). It is just a warning that before you want to bind your life with a law school, you should prepare yourself for hard work and stressful life.

Overall, it would be a lie if I say I have not enjoyed my L years in full. I loved clinic, I loved practicing law (although it was only as a student-attorney), I loved learning tricks and dark corners of tax and business law. But I hated law school exams, outlines and useless theory which is useless in the preparation for the bar exam.

Anyway, since a bar preparation is in its high peak and taking all my thoughts and dreams, I often wish to scribble something here for my own memory and perhaps even for some occasional reader of this blog as a note how it is done, how it should not be done, how it could be done and some other mixed thoughts. Since my communication is incredibly limited during those days—husband and computer—I have a need in some relief, although I'll speak to nobody.