oh.... a half way through semester

Today was another day when during three classes I tried to find courage to talk in the class and I did not. And I am trying to do this not mostly for the grade but because I want to talk to remember and understand things better. Why don't I talk? I have no idea. At one point I think I do not have enough what to say and then when I do not say anything, I am getting bored and do not want even to hear what is going on in class. Sad, uh? So far last Thursday night I have spent slepless from 2 am till 4 am just because I worried that I didn't begin to do my outline, when others did, and I worried what I have got on my memo for Legal Writing. As a result, my memo was fine. My Contracts outline did not move even a word. I am not regreting it now very much, just because I have another paper to do. But I still regret that I do not talk in the classes. That is what I do not like in American law schools' system, the way how they teach. When in my previous school, we had seminars where the only persons who talked were students, and just through prepairing to this talk I learnt. Here, I just do not want sometimes to show my thought, and I guess just out of fear that I will be wrong and then all class will look at me like I am an idiot. I already have looked like this when I asked where I get cans for homeless drive, or whatever they have in the school now as an action. Apparently, it was not cans from pops, but cans of food. Honestly, I am not much into bringing food for homeless, just because of my views on homeless here. But just because if everybody shows up with those cans, then the professor will not call on people, but will look for volunteers. Which I do not mind if she calls on my, because I will get a chance to talk, a chance that I look forward from myself each day and without any success as I have told above.

Anyway, I have to read Property now, the class I really like despite of all the difficulties of perpetuities and trusts that we go through now. Then I have to think about memo for Legal Writing. Actually not only think but write at least something, because it is due on Friday.