Inspiration --> motivation --> I am here

I have got an inspiration to start blogging again. Since my life is mostly spent with books and in communication with people who do not care much about events in my life, I have decided to annoy my blog abandoned for so long time with my silly thoughts.

Since a school is a center of my life, I will begin with it. Last quarter ended with good grades (my points received were not excellent, but high enough to get As). This quarter I am taking Estate and Gift tax, International Taxation and Corporate Tax I. International Taxation is most complicated and boring (BTW, this is what I am avoiding to do at this moment but creating this blog entry). I also continue working in a clinic, a time-consuming but interesting stuff.

Beyond-the-school life is boring - TV, shopping, cooking and rare meetings with friends (and by "rare" I mean I did not see them for more than a month). Physical exercises are on my to-do-list but by the end of the day they end up on my things-not-done list. This continues from the beginning of the quarter. It is a pity, because my body looks terrible - fat and ... no, I am not going to talk about gross things.

Now, update is done and I have no excuses for not studying.

By the way, the reason I decided to write is that a February bar exam is approaching, and I see many people with BarBri books in the library and in the school's halls. So what I wanted to say is that I am SO HAPPY that I have passed the bar exam and I am SO GLAD, that rather than studying Con Law or Criminal law or whatever, I need to do my homework for International Taxation. Thank you, God!!!

As a continuation of my previous post

So I was talking about relation between grades in a law school and a future career. A couple of days after my post, where I talked about a lesser impact of the law school grades after five years into the legal career, I received another monthly issue of job postings from my law school. Skimming over postings I noticed one from a large law firm--Holland & Hart. They were seeking a corporate attorney with a legal experience of not less than 8 years... [now, bitting of drums, most interesting part] ... and among required documents for an applicant to submit was an unofficial transcript from a law school.

So, yes, I must say, if you want to be in a large law firm, get good grades.

Do bad grades impact your success on the bar exam?

While I was waiting in a law school’s cafe for my lunch to warm up in a microwave, an article in magazine drew my attention. As it appeared later, a magazine is one of those cute magazines for law students that try to give so-called “smart” advices (unfortunately, very often too stale and useless) to law students, trying to convert them into “real” professionals.

An aforementioned article talked about grades in a law school. The article’s point was that grades will follow you during all your life. Some law school professors concluded that law school grades have both short-term and a long-term impact on student’s life. Put it differently (as I understood that article), if you are a C student, you are going to be a loser for all your professional life. [Indeed, I may have biased view on such issues, since I am one of the “not-in-the-top-50%-of-the-class” students.]

I believe there is some truth to such statement, as I was convinced by my own experience of rejections for job interviews (I am not even talking about getting an interview) and since I am more than sure that rejections occurred because of my crappy grades.

From my communication with practicing attorneys, I learnt that the grades definitely have a short-term impact: as a job applicant and a young attorney you do not have an experience and your grades are what a potential employer will look at with hopes to find out about your diligence in work and learning. However, after getting some experience, it is your professional skills that is important for an employer but not your grades you have received five years ago.

But who knows, maybe I do not know much about current legal job market and I am wrong about long-term impact. I will let my future to prove the accuracy of article’s conclusions.

What made me upset, mad and irritated is this article’s statement: grades impact student’s success on the bar exam. According to the author, grades constitute 70% of student’s chances to pass a bar exam. What? What bullshit? [Pardon my French]. Here I am, a no-so-good student with crappy grades who passed the bar exam from the first time, and there are students, who had much better grades than I do and they DID NOT pass. How will the author [or whoever made that conclusion] explain my situation?

Why am I saying all this? I think I understand good motivations of the author for writing that article—he/she wanted to develop in 1Ls that desire to get “good grades” that by all means will assist a future young attorney to find a decent job that will help to pay student loans. This is a good intention, no doubt. But what the author did not take into account, is that there are B- and C students who need different motivation and may read that unsupported crap and believe in failure on the bar exam and, later, in profession.

In other words, think positive, law students whatever grades you have. There are thousands of examples, that show different reality. Professor, on the other hand, should stick to their Socratic Method.

I passed the Bar Exam!!!

I passed!!! I did it!!! I cannot believe it!!! I do not know what to say except maybe that I never ever should lose a confidence in my abilities. The fact that I PASSED shows that studying hard will be paid off sooner or later [better sooner, of course]!

Bar Advisor

I was in the midst of my deliberation whether I should post about my feelings as to the bar exam I have taken three days ago. After reading an article (see below) I have decided to follow the advice of the author and limit my story to the following: "this was hell!" Anyway, the life is going on and you will see later how it goes for me . :-)))

Bar Advisor: "do not blog (publicly) about the bar exam until AFTER you have passed it.

Why do I say this? To begin with, a blog requires lots of psychic energy to maintain. When you draft a post, you want it to be interesting,
well-written, and timely. You worry about it before you send it off into the blogosphere where anyone can read it. When you are studying for the bar
examination, you do not have time for such a distraction and drain of mental resources.

Next, constant and public worry about failing the bar exam (which is what the majority of these bar-exam blog posts contain) will begin to infiltrate your mind and create an expectation of failure. You may not believe it, but it is true. And, guess what, if you fail, you'll be able to continue blogging about how much you hate the bar exam and your loyal readers will keep reading your posts. This is a sick form of codependency."

Tough times: this summer does not exist for me, unfortunately

I was keeping myself from blogging, because I wanted to post some kind of introduction after a long absence. You see, a law school is behind now (and no regret about it). I thought maybe some thoughts related to the past three years would be a good way to open a new page of my life. But, frankly, I do not know what to write. Three years passed quickly and with many difficulties, grey thoughts and doubts. I do not think I want to look back and show my regrets or misery, if there were such (or maybe I just do not want to confess. I cannot say I had a fun time in a law school. Pressure of good grades, strong and continuous competition had been sucking out all my energy and desire to be happy and just enjoy life. Definitely I did not choose a right course of life: I did not do what I like to do (read fiction, travel, communicate with people), but selected sitting with textbooks or just doing nothing while weeping about my unhappy days in a law school. By no means have these sentences had a purpose to discourage new law school applicants from going to school (though you would better think before you make such decision). It is just a warning that before you want to bind your life with a law school, you should prepare yourself for hard work and stressful life.

Overall, it would be a lie if I say I have not enjoyed my L years in full. I loved clinic, I loved practicing law (although it was only as a student-attorney), I loved learning tricks and dark corners of tax and business law. But I hated law school exams, outlines and useless theory which is useless in the preparation for the bar exam.

Anyway, since a bar preparation is in its high peak and taking all my thoughts and dreams, I often wish to scribble something here for my own memory and perhaps even for some occasional reader of this blog as a note how it is done, how it should not be done, how it could be done and some other mixed thoughts. Since my communication is incredibly limited during those days—husband and computer—I have a need in some relief, although I'll speak to nobody.

Energy can be a key

I have come back from the meeting with a law school's head hunter. Fascinating woman with a lot (and I mean it "A LOT") of energy. From her attitude I began believing that even with my grades I will get a good job, or at least some job.

Now I have a homework to do: come up with a list of attorneys whom I might approach, sign up for a bunch of social networks etc. We'll see how it goes.

Procrastination is possibly as old as prostitution

So let's see what I have been doing to procrastinate this morning since the end of my early morning class?:
- read email
- read LiveJournal
- looked at some pictures (bless God no comments leaving)
- read my Google Reader
- glanced at Reuters news
- glanced at my clock and decided that I have another 3 minutes to write a blog post.
here I am! Writing!

My time for procrastination is over, I have 2 hours to read those loooong 15 pages for M&A

My Advanced Contracts partner showed up. I made him waiting yesterday. Well he should have read my email. Now I need to pick the subject for our contract draft. I have no idea what I would like to choose. Talked to librarian who gave a valuable advice -- go and read contract forms, in other words, use what was already done.

OA or AI?

Isn't it time to come back? For how long I was not here? Three months? Well, isn't it the standard period of absence on my blog? I think so.

I was reading for my Biz planning class, and realized that I have asked yesterday a very stupid question during a clinic session. One of the students told that they are working on operating agreement and I have asked what type of entity is their client: "LLC or corporation?" Hellooooo, corporations have articles of incorporations. Only LLCs and partnerships may have operating agreement. Again, I disgraced myself!

Hectic Thursday

"Only 4 hours of sleep. You are crazy!"*


That was the beginning of my day on the first of October. This is what my husband told me when I got up at 6 am and rushed to bathroom to get ready. I wanted to bit traffic, which I didn't do anyway. I longed to be in the library as early as I could to finish up my reading assignment that I didn't finish last night, even though I have stayed till 1:30 am.


I stuck in the traffic, came to the library, started my laptop, and what a surprise -- the class for which I tried to prepare was cancelled. Well, at least I had time to finish preparing an agenda for Friday's meeting with a client. Then reading for the class, during which I didn't understand a single thing. After that I had a meeting with Professor that had a 30-minutes break because he had to take a call. A 30-minutes lunch. Then I had checked email and seen a draft of memo that I had to edit immediately to send it to a client and advisor. Editing happened in a crowded cafeteria where other students warmed up by a few glasses of beer were loudly chatting about something. What the heck was happening, I had no idea, though I didn't care about much, because I called my hubby and after I had finished work, we went to Italian restaurant and had tasty pasta (surprisingly, I ate pasta, although I don't like it that much). After that we came home, and I fell down asleep.

What a day.

Am I grounded???!!!

So, what comes to my mind now are words of one of attorneys or maybe publicists (I don't remember): "Write your posts carefully, because sooner or later your classmate, boss, etc will read your blog."

It was a good advice and I took it, though with a thought "How would they find me?!" Silly fool!!! I have just realized that I have connected to my school's blog without erasing this blog from my profile. From learning a sitemeter's analysis I understood that I was not the only one who entered this site from my school's web host ..... ooopss! Is it too late to disclaim all responsibility, liability and ther -ibilities??!!

Yes, I am not a saint, and, please, don't pay much attention to my English, it always was imperfect, although I skillfully hide it in my memos.

Saturday... sunny Saturday...

... and no, I am not outside walking winding trails or taking pictures of yellowish trees. I am working on my memos. For those two years of law school survival I never gave a thought to the fact, that as a law student you don't have weekends. Last year I met this girl who is from the same country I am. We had a dinner together with her hubby, we went for a hike this summer and frequently chat on the phone. Now she keeps asking me every week "When will we get together? when will we go for a hike?" My usual answer is, " Please, wait till Friday and I will let you know what is going on with my schedule?" But you know what? I never call back or if I do my answer is "Sorry, I have a work to do." Work by its meaning is not only school work, but also cleaning a house, cooking for the week, or just relaxing with longing for no movement - sleeping or stupidly staring at TV.

Too late I have realized how much time I have been spending on studying instead of simply enjoying my life by doing what I want -- something active and creative -- but not what school wants -- some boring, multi-paged reading or memo writing. Blah... take it a law student.

Meantime, my memo for clinic hasn't received success with my partner. She sent me her revisions that looked like a bloody field of red change tracks. Thanks a lot, - I would say half with appreciation and half with an irony. It is great she pointed at my mistakes, but it made me feel a sheety writer. F... with that. I keep writing.

My health rockets downhill with a speed of light. Doctors' appointments take an enormous amount of time leaving me with unfinished assignments and tearful mood, because I am behind and I don't know when I will get back on track.

The bottom line: currently my life sucks despite an awesome warm sunny beautiful weather.

P.S. it is my first experience sending a post via email. I'll see what happens.

quick update

So be quick (because I have a memo to write) I'll tell that summer was fabulous. I went to so many places that I wanted to come to, that I even cannot believe it is possible to do in one summer. Except travelling I was on two interships. Nothing special but I think I have learnt some stuff.

Despite great summer and good relaxation for two and a half months I started school not in the best mood. I have some health issues and visits to doctors take a lot of my time. As a result I am behind with my reading. Additionally, I have this memo to write and, yes, I am difficult on writing.

Today I have planned to get up earlier and do my reading for morning class. But then I couldn't fall asleep, so I took a sleeping pill. As a result I woke up too late and was almost late for my class. Luckily, I have read just right amount of pages. I am really suprised b/c generally I am not so often granted with luck.

Cases in cartoons

A few times I have googled cases I am not clear about and stumble upon cartoons. here is one for Perlman v. Feldmann (from Corporations) -- see it at Sut's Views

I hate this word "outlining"

Today one of the students said that his outline is on 150 pages and he wants to bring it to a final. I thought my outlines are long, but what then to think of this one?

A couple days ago here I was writing about my doubts what clinic I want to participate in. Well, I have received an offer to join the Entrepreunirial Clinic. I have decided to follow my fortune and accepted. Now I think I didn't make a mistake. Moreover, I keep registering for business classes for the next semester.

Tough choice to make

A few minutes ago I have submitted my letter of intent to be enrolled in the Entrepreneurial Clinic. I am little worried because I always thought that I want to be a business attorney, but sometimes I have feelings that I will get bored with that type of work. I was thinking of litigation, but then I am not sure either. Therefore, I have decided to apply to the Entrepreneurial clinic first, instead of criminal law clinic and see whether I am accepted. If yes, I am in. Tough!

April?? Already??!!

Yes, again, I have disappeared from these pages, even though I keep saying that I have to write more for my own sake.

What happened with me for this time? Practically nothing.

Busy with studying.

I was really late with my note that was due before a spring break and as always I had to finish it up right before a due 5pm o'clock. But I made it.

I have realized that I should listen to my inner voice when it says to drop a class because a professor sucks. Bad, I didn't do listen to it at the beginning of this semester. From first class I knew that I don't like her. Now I hate this class because she says one thing, does another, makes me change my correct understanding of the material to the wrong one then, obviously, I make mistake and she lowers my grade. Honestly, I hate her class not because of the subject, but because of her methods of teaching, or, I would say, because of the absence of such methods.

I finally saw a wonderful state of California. For several years that I spent in the United States I have been hearing a lot about it. Actually views were totally opposite: crowded-state-with-high-real-estate-prices v. beautiful-weather-and-closeness-of the-ocean. Unfortunately, our trip was not successful as we could expect: I had to finish up my homework, the weather was cold and rainy, the ocean was like ice. I have enjoyed the trip but definitely it could be much better.

I also wanted proudly to say that last week as a President of a student organization I have organized an event (a panel discussion) with four attorneys. It took me an enormous amount of time: writing emails, setting up the date, classroom, parking. But it was rewarding. We had a great attendance, and I found speakers very interesting. Now I am considering whether I should run for the next year. I kind of liked it.

White ... Black... White... Black

Days in a law school are so different. Just yesterday I was in dispair and thought that I do not understand anything in the material, in what I read. Today I not only well understood reading, but also came up with some good ideas. I wish I had more days like today.

Monday

Today, waking up with that heavy feeling of Monday, I sat to my laptop and tried to write an email to members of my association. I did not mention before but I was elected a President of our school's association. An election was really small, so I would not call my election a big winning. But tell you the truth I enjoy to think about organization of events and simply about what a great position I am taking :-)

So I spent an hour for a couple of senteces, because I wanted to sound interesting and intelligent. As a result, after I had read my creation to my husband to check spelling and tone of the email, he said it suck. Thank you, dear, what a frustration.

The day passed with no interest -- two classes and driving home. I also tried to jog, but my injured knee said "forget it!", I cried a little, because I hate to be disabled. For a runner of almost 10 years it is like the end of my young life. Then I researched Google, and all articles say "just relax, idiot, and wait when it gets better." This is the point, because I hate to wait.