The end of March

So I have a beginning of a third quarter. The last quarter was stressful, especially exams. I still have nightmares about me failing. Those dreams are the worst crap I ever had seen in my dreams. Horrible. Surprisingly, I did well in one exam and did very-very well in another. When I checked the results for the first two exams, the grades for the third one were not posted. Today I have learned that they are up. But I am so scared to look at them. It is not that I am afraid to fail. Not at all. I think I did well enough not to get the grade lower than B. But I need A soooo much and I am stressing out about it. Even now, while writing this post I am thinking whether I should go and look. But then I am afraid that if I got B, I will not be able to sleep and my nightmares will be worth than I have now. Hell, no, I am going to wait till tomorrow. ... oh should I??? Imagine, I wrote a last sentence and went to check my grades. O, God, help me!!! ........... ok, checked. Got A but with a low points score. A little upset, since would like to have a better score, since I thought I knew a little bit more than it needed for a solid A, although (being honest) not enough for a high score. rrrrr.... I am going to sleep, hopefully with sweet dreams.

Exam

The frustrating part of school is that you may go to the exam with a confidence that you know the most of the material, and that you will do very well. But then you are walking out of that exam with a feeling that much more studying could be done, and that "I know the material" was very deceitful feeling.

This is what I felt yesterday after a Corporate Tax exam. No, I am sure that I did not fail. But, damn, I could do better.

Stressful times

Two days ago while sitting in a school's study room, which I had shared with other two students from my program, I heard their worries about approaching finals.

Being frank with you, till that day I was thinking of exams, but I was not freaking out. But a chain reaction from their talks passed to me quickly, despite my angry resistance.

I have less than two weeks before time when I have to pull out my outlines and spend 3.5 hours writing answers. My two outlines are half-done, one outline looks as a blank page. As always I had planned to catch up on a weekend, and as always I did not. I feel the energy is leaving my body and I have no time to replenish it.

Anyway, I guess my point is I begin worrying and I know it is no good.

Inspiration --> motivation --> I am here

I have got an inspiration to start blogging again. Since my life is mostly spent with books and in communication with people who do not care much about events in my life, I have decided to annoy my blog abandoned for so long time with my silly thoughts.

Since a school is a center of my life, I will begin with it. Last quarter ended with good grades (my points received were not excellent, but high enough to get As). This quarter I am taking Estate and Gift tax, International Taxation and Corporate Tax I. International Taxation is most complicated and boring (BTW, this is what I am avoiding to do at this moment but creating this blog entry). I also continue working in a clinic, a time-consuming but interesting stuff.

Beyond-the-school life is boring - TV, shopping, cooking and rare meetings with friends (and by "rare" I mean I did not see them for more than a month). Physical exercises are on my to-do-list but by the end of the day they end up on my things-not-done list. This continues from the beginning of the quarter. It is a pity, because my body looks terrible - fat and ... no, I am not going to talk about gross things.

Now, update is done and I have no excuses for not studying.

By the way, the reason I decided to write is that a February bar exam is approaching, and I see many people with BarBri books in the library and in the school's halls. So what I wanted to say is that I am SO HAPPY that I have passed the bar exam and I am SO GLAD, that rather than studying Con Law or Criminal law or whatever, I need to do my homework for International Taxation. Thank you, God!!!

Outlines online .... and I can use it!

Finally I am studying a class (classes) for which I can fearlessly use Internet sources.  You know what class it is? Individual Tax.  Web site www.irs.gov provides information in most readable and understandable manner.  :-)