Taking exams in a law school.

Another good article for exam taking in a law school.

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The Seven C’s of Exam Success
Are you finding yourself confused about the professor’s expectations regarding exams? Tired of IRAC, or IREAC, or CREAC – or any other set of similar type
initials? Perhaps the seven C’s can give you a better sense of how you should
approach exams.

1. Call of the question. The call is really two things – knowing who you are supposed to represent (Court? Lawyer? Policymaker?); and having a sense of what the professor wants (A ruling? A remedy? An argument?) Knowing these points really helps you.

2. Cast of characters.is more than simply dividing up your issues. You also need to think about the purpose of their presence. So you need a plan of action as to how to view your people in the exam question. Ask yourself:

Are they players?
Are they background (in the sense that their presence is in support of someone else)?
Are there a number of pairs arguing against each other?
Knowing the answers to these questions can help you group the issues better and see where the professor finds issues. In a complex, multi-issue problem with a large cast of characters, it is important to know each player’s function – and how they line up against each other.

3. Context. Here is the stuff everyone forgets. Before you get to the specifics, it’s a good idea to give the reader a sense of where you are going. So, if talking about applying an exception – tell the reader the general rule of law. If applying a rule, explain it so that the reader knows the “rules of the game.” Moreover, you ultimately need to get started and giving context to your answer helps organize your answer. Remember, the professor is not going to assume you understand the purpose of summary judgment or the definition of murder in the first degree unless you tell her. If the type of contract it is will color what you do – explain that it is/is not covered by the UCC. If you are deciding to take away the rights of the jury by a directed verdict – or move one case to another place because of a change of venue – give the rationale of what each is supposed to accomplish. The bottom line is that you should not assume anything with respect to what the reader (aka the professor) knows – you must be specific and tell him or her.

4. Conflict. Once you give the context information that you need, you will then need to focus on what the specific problem is. Now your goal is to examine and explain the sides of the conflict. In doing so, it is important to always keep in mind what the diverging parties would argue, even if the call of the question will result in a court decision. Unless you know what each side wants or could want, how can you figure out which position is better? “Bottom line” analysis is not sufficient! Remember the professor is going to grade the process, so show the problems, the conflicts and the maybes! Generally, these conflicts involve four general types of problems:

The pick one (or more) from a series of similar type rules (Could the defendant be charged with murder one? Two? Manslaughter? All? Some?)
Decide whether rule applies (Can the court use parole evidence in this contract situation?)
Assess if what was done was right with respect to the rule, or, the converse of the above. (Was summary judgment properly granted?)
Argue your best position (If you are the defendant’s attorney, how can you get in parole evidence?)
But, no matter what type of question, you will always need to know how to present a thorough discussion of the conflicts that are involved in the question. One way of checking yourself is to use phrases such as:

So, this is the first possible rule because…
It is important to consider this rule because…
It is important to remember that this rule is different from this (other) rule because…
5. Consequences.So if you have applied this rule - so what? What do we get for our troubles? Need to explain the effect of applying the selected rule under these examination facts. So beyond just telling the professor the rules and what they mean, you also need to tell her what happens because of the set of facts in the specific problem. The goal in good exam writing is not to make the professor guess what would happen in the facts that she crafted. So use phrases like, “Here, under these facts of …, the court would determine that this rule would apply because…” to get you started in applying rules to facts (and yes, this is the A in IREAC!)

6. Charms of the professors.Professors are not cookie cutters, which is why study aids are not perfect. So, if available, you should always look at past exams of that professor. And that’s why you need to spend time actually practicing those problems or hypotheticals. You want to do this because you want to be very familiar with anticipating what a professor wants in his answer. So, if they like references to cases, do it. If they like references to the Restatement or the UCC or other code, give it to them. If they like policy, theories, philosophy, alternative dispute resolutions, why not give them what they want? To quote Nike – just do it!

7. Conclusions.Finally, as with all things, you must come to the end of the answer. So, tell the professor your version of “happily ever after,” even if the result is not actually happy. So, what will happen? Who should win? What were the concerns that you took care of? By actually reviewing the question asked, you can guarantee that you gave that professor her answer. So don’t assume the professor can figure out what will happen because of your analysis – tell him!

Plans for my second year

I hope I will read a coupld of times this article
HOW TO CHANGE SECOND SEMESTER: REVIEWING EXAMS AND OTHER HINTS FOR SUCCESS It is late for my second semester as it's almost gone, but I hope I will utilize those advices my third semester.

Soon it will be over

Three days to go, two for preparation and another for exam and then I have my break for two month till summer school. yeyeyeyey

Two done, two to go

I freak out... I am stressed and ready to loose my consciousness. I have submitted paper today for another exam and I think that paper is the worst paper I even had written in my life. I tried to sound funny but at the end it came up really serious. briefly, it was a parody on the paper. Now I have to study for the next final, and I forgot my textbooks in the locker. Did I leave my brain in a locker too??? Anyway, I will be realllyyy happy when I finish this damn fist year!!!

First final??? Gone

I kicked away my first final. Yesterday I have felt good but not today. I feel I could do better and the feeling is not very encouraging for the next exams, therefore, I will keep my mouth shut. BTW, I think I have to take some typing lessons, because on one of the questions I did not have enough time to type everything I wanted. What a pity!

How to be a better learner?

If you strugle with your studying and have no confidence in your learning abilities, read those tips, maybe they will give you some assistance.

How to Become Smarter

Frankly, I did not read, but maybe with time I will look at it. Hopefully.

Top web site about motivation but it does not guarantee that I have it

So my blog continues to hit the ranks on the google search on "how to find motivation." Believe me or not, but a long absence of the posts on this site may tell my reader a lot about my motivation not only to write, but also to study. I quitted writing here, because I was tired of thinking every day about a school - nights and days, the same thoughts. Moreover, I did not (and do not) want to disappointed new arrivals into the law field who got there admission letters and now excited to begin to crack their way through the stone of legal knowledge. At this point I have no idea to where this path leads me. I am afraid my teech got a lot of damage and the school does not seem to me so exciting as it was before I have begun it. Now if you are a prospective 1L student, do not read further because I am going to entrust my view on the school. I hate it! I love law, I love it, but I do not like the way how I am taught and the way how I have to learn. I saw other ways to teach, and I think the ones now just do not work for me. Maybe it is just me, an old grumpy woman who got used to different things, and who does not want to work hard to reach something more than she has. Again, this is my personal view and I hope it caused only by exhaustion from studying. I will not be suprised if in a week after finals, I will sing another song.

I am on the spring break and I do not care about anything

I have finished my appealate brief. Three nights without sleep (well at least 3-5 hours and for me it is not enough). The last night before a due date we spent about 10 hours proof reading, editing, formating. Finally my partner and I with tired voice said, "that's it. DONE!" and with happiness hit Print button. Yes, it was done, but not exactly. Because we finished at 11 pm, all Kinkos around were closed. Actually one was opened, but I did not know about it. So next morning I was running out the house in rush, because I woke up too late and I had an hour to get to Kinko, wait them printing and binding, then drive to the school. Bless God I made it. That Friday, I came home and went to sleep for four hours. Then we went to a bar, and then I had a sleep for another 10 hours. Yes... and now I have a spring break.

Honestly, I do nothing. I am on Internet, I am reading blogs, I am writing blogs (not here), I watch TV. I have some excuse, today I have finished online quizes to pass Lexis certification. At least I am over with this. Now I have to work on cover letter for internship and I have no wish. Maybe I should relax this summer? Take a summer class and go see my parents? I consider this plan. Forget about stress of a law school and go to relax and spend fun time with my friends. I wish I could do this right now :-)))

Guess what I am doing this Monday evening?

I am writing appealate brief yeyeyeyeyey... My trial brief did not go so bad, at least professor said I have a good research and I need to paraphrase a lot of stuff. This is funny how I missed a lot of things and arguments. Interestingly, I had touched on them in trial brief, but worded as I was defendant (but actually I am plaintiff). I had a lot citation problems. I hope I will resolve this in appealate brief.

Ok, I am off to go.

I always told that people are ugly creatures - see the article

I am outraged. Yes, I am a dog lover and I hate this freak who did this:

A Costa Rican artist found himself in hot water with the animal protection people in his home country after using a starving, sick street dog as part of an exposition in Managua, Nicaragua, in August. Guillermo “Habacuc” Vargas allegedly found the dog tied up on a street corner in a poor Nicaragua barrio and brought it to the showing.

He tied the dog, according to furious animal lovers, in a corner of the salon where it died after a day. Habacuc’s exhibition included a legend spelled out in dog food reading “You are what you read,” photos and an incense burner that burned an ounce of marijauna and 175 “rock’ of crack cocaine. In the background, according to reports, the Sandista national anthem played backwards.

According to the artist, his “art” was a tribute to Natividad Canda, a Nicaraguan burglar killed in Costa Rica by two rottweilers guarding property he had entered at night. The incident caused friction between the two countries. Habacuc told the daily La Nacion, “I won’t say the dog died. The importance to me is the hypocracy of the people where an animal is the focus of attention where people come to see art but not when it’s in the street starving to death.”

“The same thing happened with poor Natividad Canda. The people sympathized with him only after he was dead,” the artist added.

The artist apparently is unaware that at least three large, active organizations are dedicated in Costa Rica to the protection of animals and that several persons have been prosecuted for cruelty to animals. They are hampered in their efforts by the old Hispanic customs of disregard for animal welfare and by a lack of funding.

Text found on Costa Rica blogs

And he did this because some idiot, actually even worse because he was a burglar, got illegally at night to somebody's property!!!??? "the hypocracy of the people where an animal is the focus of attention" ????? People are cause of many evils that happen to them! I have not pite to criminals who are punished for their bad deeds. But what this little dog did to you, freak?

But even worse, people watched this and did nothing?

Another thought for today

Actually, I should not be so mad, because just this morning I was thinking that I am not qualified for the job with a large firm. I was not sure whether I will feel ok if I have a big money from them and do a lot of things badly. Whatever! On one of my profiles I said that everything what happens with me is for the best. Just yesterday I talked with one guy online (Yahoo messenger) about this phrase, and funny thing I tired to persuade him that this statement reflects the reality. Now, by writing previous post I rejected my idea (almost rejected). So now I have to think positively and think about benefits I will get from not having an internship.

1. I can take classes and it will be easier then during the year.

2. I can visit my parents, and go to Turkey

3. Perhaps I will find internship with judge or another firm, and even though I will not get as much money, but I will get a good experience.

4. I just will have fun time.

Damn it, I cannot believe that I have found so many good reasons not to be upset.

:-))))

Bad news I have got and now upset

So those f***** interviews did not work out for me. They just did not like me. I am upset, and maybe mostly not because they did not chose me, but because I have spent tremendous amount of time with a huge hopes I will get it. As a result I did not. Now I have to begin my process again and look for something different. I want to apply for judicial internship. I think I am interested in them more. Moreover, it is for free, and I hope judges will like it more.

I am sorry for bad words BUT I am f***** mad.

Referals

Ok, my blog continues to be among the first in the ranking of motivation for a law school and exams, hatred and tiredness to law school and studying too. LOL

An interview with a law student

I liked it.

Politics

I am not much into politics, but those recent events are just hillarious. Governor and prostitutes! Isn't it sweet? Just today I have watched NBC... by the way shame on them to bring those girls (prostitutes or, as they call themselves, escort) for the interview. What was the point of that? To show that empty minded women who hardly can do some logic in their phrases but who earn more than any other intelligent woman? I am not saying that all prostitutes are empty minded. I am not biased about it. Maybe a little. When I began watching that episode I really expected some intelligent women. I thought that if they are paid so much money, they might be more sofisticated than those on the streets. As a result, I was disappointed. Although one of them, the one from Montreal, Canada, pointed out that she is writing a book (yeahh...she meant Kamasutra?), on the question what she think if the NY governor should resign, she answered that of course, "what an example he shows kinds?" I laughed so hard. Girly, and what example you show? Sleeping with hundrends of men for money. Come on! "I feel much better if my client is single." Yeah, right, but you still sleep with him for money. My point is not to scorn profession of the prostitute. No. I am ok with what they do, as long as they use condoms, do not spread STDs and have enjoyment from this. But how can she judge a person while having so low moral standards by herself?

Now Spitzer's wife. I have listen this afternoon a good idea about her. If she insists her husband not to resign, then she probably knew about his adventers. I will not be suprised if she knew. However, what else she has to say in such situtation as her husband's? Moreover, everybody is talking about braveness of those wives, who come to support their husbands in such "difficult" times. Come on, they do not have another choice. They has been living with those horny bastards for many years, having financial support from them and status. If they divorce them at one, it will be worse for them, just because other wives in such situtations did not do that and, then, people will tell that a wife is bad, because she did not support her husband. I guess it is much better for wives to stay with their husbands, at least for a while, because they will look much better if they do. People will tell that they are so goood and sooo generous to support their men, and by staying with them, instead of divorcing, they make men bad but not themselves. My point is that those women are not brave, they are just smart not to jump into hot water, but, instead, just blow on it. By the way, his wife looks really hot!

Another political issue I have a view on is the comment of one of campaign team (or what is the technical name?) of Hillary. I tried to find the name of the person I am talking, but did not find. I am talking about the one who said that Obama has some support in people votes because he is Adrican American. I am not a racist, but I agree with her conclusion. I think his race means as much as Mrs. Clinton's gender. I understand that people want to see in the candidate just a person, a leader. But it will never happen, just because we are a people and look at others through our own glass of opinions and views. I do not want to expand more on this subject, because I have to do my homework, which I am avoding already for more than hour and a half.

I am lazy, although I cannot afford to be

It is Friday morning. I have planned to do some homework, but I cannot do anything because I am sick, and because I just do not want to do anything :-) I have an interview in 3 hours, so I have read about my interviewers and about firm. Wish me luck.

A little about recent events and other things

First of all, I will exclaim, "Wow!!!" I did not know that my blog's link is on somebody's else blog. Thank you, David! Here is the link to David's blog, a person who was so kind to have some interest in my grammatically incorrect and spiritually barren blog. I also happily will post a link to David's blog in my list. BTW, David wrote Life of Alien. For a couple of weeks I am thinking whether I put correctly article "the" in front of "life." Anybody will help ESL student with articles? I do not want to seem unintelligent.

Although I have planned to describe my recent days in more details, I do not feel like to do that, so I will post them in brief order (not chronological) and go to treat myself with hot steam and hot tea, because I am sick. I hate to be sick.

My events:

1. More then a week ago I finally finished my trial brief. It was painful and went not very well. I worked on it Friday's evening, all Saturday and all Sunday, and yes, I was one of those students who did not sleep the night before Monday. Amazing, I was late with my papers in my life, but not as late as it was with this trial brief. I got up from the desk at 6.30 am on Monday and still did not do good job on checking my citations and grammar mistakes. But yes, I have finished it. Today I talked to my legal writing Prof. and she said I have a real problem with my grammar. I decided not to do a drama from this, because then I will not be able to start my appelate brief, which will cause worse problem. Moreover, she did not know that I have finished a half of the brief at night, so even writing on native language would not help me. I hope I will not get C. I will be happy even with B. It is only 30% of the grade, additionally, I do not deserve more.
2. Last week I had 2 interviews with law firms for my summer clerkship. One went quite tough - I saw 7 people and talked without stop. Another one was easier - no questions to me, all questions were from me, and we chatted for an hour. Before I began writing this post I had finished preparation for my tomorrow's interview with the third firm. I have used flash cards to make notes about firm, about the areas of the practice, and my questions. It is amazing how much time I can spend on interview preparation. I will have the result about each interview next week. I keep my fingers crossed, because I want this internship.
3. I got sick. I sneez and my throat is in pain. I think a law school killed all my immune system, because I do not remember days when I got sick so often.
4. People keep hitting my website by searching key words as "tired of law school (studying)" and "find motivation to study." Dear visitors, I am afraid you find yourself in disapointment after reading my stuff here that does not give any encoragment for better studying but only crying about the difficulties of the law school and studying. However, it is not my fault that Google likes my blog for those subjects. I also assume I have to right something marrier. However, I can assure my reader, that you will hardly find my blog by searching something like "happiness in a law school." well, there is a possibility that after two years Google will find my blog from the search of "happiness," but it will be in paralel with a word "graduation" not word "study."

Just some refreshment to my posts

A girl from my class gave me the link to her blog. She said she rights a diary since she was 7 or 10 and it helped her writing skills. Now I am sorry I did not do that. So now I decided I need to correct my situation and renew my writing to my diary or blog. Maybe it will help my poor writing skills? I hope my future employer will not read this post and this statement, or I will never have job with him/her.

I thought about writing short today, because it is almost 9 pm and I am sleepy and tired and empty headed (or heavy headed?). So today I have received that annoying letter from some lady/man from Africa who wants to transfer funds and needs my bank account. I have received many of those recently, so I wonder where the hell those people found my email address. My next question is whether they still find idiots who sends them their information. I think yes, there are still some, otherwise, those spammers would change theme. Actually, they do change it. Anyway, I replied to one of those emails, saying "back off, bustards!!!" I do not think it will stop them, but I had to get rid of my steam.

It is interesting to observe myself, though. When I am not satisfied with myself, when I am behind with my homework, or not successful with job etc, I try to prove myself in other places. For example, I am really misearable recently and I decided that if I cannot be ahead at school, I will try to be on the road. I must say it is very dangerous! You may assume, don't you? So on my way to school, this guy in red Jeep sat behind me so close that I wanted hit him with my pointy shoe in his rear. Then after his maneauvre to pass me, I accelerated to prevent him to get in front of me. I almost did it, but then I relaxed and this bustard cut me off and got in front of me. To my outrage he showed me f***. This made me violant, outrageous and other conditions describing a blond without mind. I hit the pedal and sat on the rear of that red Jeep till the guy turned to the ramp, which happened a couple miles after our burning conflict. What was interesting to observe, that I was not tense. As a rule when I do such bad things I am tense and always think if I should do this. But today, I honestly enjoyed it. Does it mean that lack of sleep and unsuccess in life makes me risky? This is not a good thing.

By the way, I always try to write something smart and intelligent. For example, talking about laws and my opinions. But I cannot come up with a subject. I even begin thinking maybe I really am not interested in the law, if I do not reflect any emotions? Tough question, isn't it? I also hope I am mistaken, because I enjoy law. lol

Shooting in the school again!!

What is going on with those people???!!! Shooting again, this time in Ill. Now I begin thinking how safe it is in my school?

Monday can be hard, but nice too

Finally!... I have brought my hand up and answered on CrimLaw. Even twice. Our professor encourages reponses by adding point to my total on exam. So I am glad I have begun. Now I just need keep moving.

How to find motivation for studying

It is Saturday. It is almost 5 pm. And I did not begin to do my homework. So I have googled "how to find motivation to do homework." I have found nice result here. I did not find many of advices for me, therefore, I took some of them and now I post here.

1. Think of the consequences. What will happen if you don't do your homework? You'll get a bad grade? Your teacher will be disappointed in you? If none of these things seem to apply to you, remember that homework is to help you learn, which everyone ultimately wants. In the real world, knowledge helps you master the rules of the game...and if you don't know the rules, how are you going to win? If Knowledge is Power...Ignorance is minimum wage.
2. If you really don't want to do your homework, then just get everything ready to do your homework: paper, pencil, textbook, and cup of tea. Then sit down and open the book to the page you need to read. Then read the first paragraph. Usually by then you will feel that you can write the first sentence. Break it down into little bites.
3. Do the hardest work first. This means the more you do it, the easier it gets.
4. It's easier to recall something if you remembered it under a similar environment (known as state-dependent learning). That's why it is important to study at a table and with proper lighting instead of reading on your bed, for example. (I do like to study in bed, but I noticed I do not remember much from it).
5. Also, think about the better grades you might get if you do your homework consistently. (EXACTLY!!!!)

I have looked into another link How-to-Be-A-Student. Yeah, general conclusion from it - study and study.

I think I am motivated now! Better I will begin read ConLaw. I am behind like 20 pages and then he gave us to read another 30. Total 50 pages to go for the next 3-4 hours.

Friday, the day of small relax- and a little about my new policy

I have not been writing for a while and I can explain it with me being busy with studying and moot court. Yes, I finally have experienced moot court competition. My other reason of some fear to spit my thoughts and feelings I have had recently about law school in general and my success. Past week was a torture for me, because each morning I got up with a thought of hatred for law school and the whole system. I hated it because I had hard time to figure out many things and because I did not have enough of sleep, I felt that I am behind of everybody, and it made me even worse. I went to read some blogs and with some disgust read how people enjoy a law school. Finally, I have overcome those feeling. I think I just needed a good sleep, and I had it. Now I am motivated and even happy. Honestly, not very much happy, because I am still behind with my Legal Writing research. But it is ok, I will begin it as soon as I finish this post.

Now about a moot court. Many people say that they had an enjoyment from it. I did, but I guess not fully, because at the end of the day I felt exhausted and on the edge of a break down. It was competition between teams of my school and another school of our state. Another school prepares for those competitions seriously, unlike my school. That is why each year law students of my school are very motivated to participate in that competition, but, unfortunately, still everybody not as good prepared as students from another school. To my shame, I must confess that I was one of those students. Actually, I tried hard, but I did not manage my time correctly, and as a result, I prepared my opening statement right before rounds. Of course, I received less points for almost reading from my notes. However, both judges (we had two rounds) admitted that my voice is persuasive, and the text of opening statement was great (wow... what a surprise, I guess I am not so bad in writing). BUT... as judges pointed out, I need to have more confidence. oh, well, what confidence may I have not having text and worrying that I might mixed up the grammar. Luckily, I had a very good partner, so he scored for us more points than we expected. Though, I did well on one of cross-examinations.

We did not get into semifinal, but we won one round out of 2, which is encouraging. If I have another opportunity to participate in a moot court, I will try to do that, although I have decided that litigation is not for me - too much of writing, research and very stressful. Now my reader, possibly thinks, that then I should not be a lawyer at all. Yes, it would be a good point. But I think, I have such a view about litigation, because I continuously try to overcome my fear of using another language from my native. Litigation requires those skills, that I did not develop well, at least at this point. Although I liked to be in front of the judge and roar at another counsel.

What will I do differently next time in preparation to moot court:

1. prepare opening (closing) statement beforehand, memorize it, and repeat it a couple of time with (or without) audience.
2. think in more detail about the picture of my client and what I want to prove (I really missed this point).
3. read more the Evidence rules. I lacked of it on my objections
4. work with witnesses and train them how to respond and how to be difficult witness
5. read more about difficult witnesses and how to handle them
6. feel more confident and try not to be led in all questions by my partner.

Although competitions are fun, I am now behind in my reading, and this weekend will be spent in reading cases and legal research.

By the way, I spend some time on the web site of former classmates. I was suprised how interesting the lives of people came up. For example, I had that classmate who studied in a school on Cs and weak Bs. Now he is the manager of one of the departments in court. What do I lead to? Even bad students can get job, so should I worry about my grades as much?

Just short note, I have no strength to write more

I am very busy those days with preparations to a moot court I will have this Saturday. I was so frustraited with myself that I did not sleep all night and as a result I am sleepy now and do not want to do anything else, but lie my head on the pillow and fall into DEEP sleep.

Here is new site I just find Shark. It is dedicated to law school. oh.. soon I will be sick just from a word "law school," but no explanation to this comment will be given now. Later on. Cheers.

Dear attorneys, did you forget your times of job searching?

Note I wrote next day:
I was tired and made, sleepy and upset, therefore this post has many mistakes. however, I am not going to edit them. What for? Why not to see my insanity? :-)
-------------------------------------

So I just have come back from Skills Program meeting in one of the law firms in the city. I like such type of meetings. This one was particularly directed on diverse participants. I like such events but sometimes they bring me upset thoughts. Today it was that case when I left the office being frustraited. I will not mention the point that I came to go through a mock job interview and hoped it will prepare me for interviews I will hopefully have for my clerkship program. However, they gave me the guy who worked in the company for a week and who by himself just recent graduate. Then there was a board of practicing attorneys who talked about the career and how great legal career is. First, I am kind of tired of those long-minutes speeches about how-we-became-great-lawyers. Surely all lawyers like to talk about themselves, and it was interesting for me to know how they got their success. Though I do not long speeches, and today some of them were long. Then there was a question to them about the grades, something like, "obviously 90% of the class are not at the top of the class, so how to find a job for those not 10%." At this point I have heard a lot of fairy tales. One of female attorneys told that she participated in hiring and stressed out that she rarely looked into the grades. What??? I asked myself and virtually her. Then tell me why do I saw that upset face of my career adviser after I told him my GPA? Something like "well, girl, and you want to find some job? go better and study!" Or those articles telling about hard time to find job with low GPA and how picky those large law firms about hiring. Just yesterday on career web site I saw the ad of Excel Energy who were looking for intern from 10% top class.

Another guy from the board talked about the importance of reputation but not a career.

Now it is time for my speech. Dear, attorneys, did you forget the times when you were looking for jobs and you were asked for your GPA? The lady from the board while talking about her grraduation and looking for job proudly announced that she was not in the top of the class but very close. So if the grades are not so important, why do you mention them so proudly? Why do you ask me to send you a transcript together with my resume?

I do not want to seem paranoid, but I do not like to be misled! But this is what happened to me at that meeting. I agree, the grades will not matter in the court room or five years past gradution, but the question is how to get into the law firm after graduation. Despite the clear question from somebody's email and expectations of participants to hear the reality, we did not receive the right, real answer. I am disappointed.

Second week of second semester

So this is Wednesday, second week of my new semester. From anger and frustration after I saw my grades, I switched to the position of self-denial and criticism. I know that there is nobody to blame for my falling down but myself, because I did not put enough effort into studying. I have noticed that last weekend. I had three days off and I did almost nothing for school. BTW, those days were possibly the best days of the year. I relaxed, I did not have bad thoughts about the grades, I knew what I have and that I could not change them. I cooked, walked, went to gym. Finally I have sent my paperwork for citizenship. Hopefully, in a year I will carry that blue passport with eagle on it. :-) And no need for visas anymore. What a dream.

School goes ok. But I do not want to write much about it, because it is almost 10 and I want to sleep. I have another two days to survive and tomorrow I have a bunch of appointments.

I feel sorry I write only about law school. I think I need to mix in somethings. But what ? :)

My disapointments, I am afraid not last ones

If a law school makes somebody think "like a lawyer," it is not my case. The law school makes me think "like a loser." I guess the reader guessed that I have recieved my first semester grades, and, yes, they suck. My feelings went through gradual development:

1. suprise and astoonishment when I have received my first grade on Contracts, and even more suprise and astonishment after I have received my Property and Civ Pro.

2. next I was crying. I am a woman and I am emotional person, how else will I get rid of my emotions. I cried like a crazy, but good for not so long.

3. Next round was continued with the feeling of stupidity, "What!? I am so bad? I cannot believe I am so stupid!!!"

4. The next round was worse - from love to hateress (love was at the beginning of the semester). I hated a law school, myself and professors. I had to go to buy the books for the next semester and could not even sit in the car thinking how disgusted I am even to see the school.

5. The fifth round was mixed with fourth. The rage was added. I was soooo mad I did badly on the exams. I was sooo mad my professors gave me the questions I did not know how to answer. I was ashamed of my rage and nothing I could do.

Finally, the round of bad grades was over after I have got assurance from professors and a register that I am not on probation.

The hatrad to the law school and professors almost has gone. The professors are innocent, aren't they? I looked into the exams and I was 100% at fault to miss that painful issue of Post Consideration. I mean I did well at multiple, but I failed on essay. I cannot believe I missed that easy points!!! But all this behind. Though, I left with a bad GPA of 2.6. What a disaster.

Watching students receiving their grades were miserable view - anger, happiness, smiles and disapointments. "I was ready to kill that girl who complained she did not get A, but A-." Those phrases I heard a couple of times. Honestly, I was thinking that way too, just I did not uttered it.

One of the disappointments for me was Property. My professor told me I have analytical skills but I do not know how to put that on paper. What a bummer! He said,"the lawyer has to know how to write." Yeah, I know, I tell this myself everyday while thinking on whether I has to use article "a" or "the." I guess I am not as smart to know how to write as a lawyer! F*** This is what I was afraid of. Damn it, I will not quite anyway, although ConLaw and Criminal Law seemed to be even worse from what I had last semester. Now I will have to afraid of probation for sure.

Briefly about my plans for the next couple months:
1) I work on internships. Although my grades are really bad, I hope to get something
2) I will participate in a moot court competition. I am realy excited about it
3) I will work on changing studying schedule. i was lazy last semester and my grades perfectly reflected this. Therefore, let's go into the heart of the battle - the living in the law school.

Also, I miss my parents, I want to go home at least for a month. I always feel that way when I have a hard time in my life.

My site meter

I thought nobody ever looked at my web site before, but what a surprise was to see that some google links brought viewers to my blog :-) However, a sad news is the inquiries that brought them to me:

"students uncondidence for asking"
"tired of (from) studying"
"I cannot believe I did this to myself"

I do not know if I should laugh or cry, but those inquiries seem to my depressing. well, at list "the law student and Valentine's day" brings some cheerfulness into the life of my blog :-)

hmmmm

Ok, a couple hours passed since I saw my Contracts grade, and I TELL you - I am MAD. I am mad on myself, and at the same time I am bevildered. I cannot believe I did so bad. I tried so hard, I was so sure that I did well. Now, after reading online articles about grades, I see my situation even worse, because only 25 % of students get grade below B-. and 50-75% of the students get B, B+, B-. How would you feel to know that I am the one who is on the end of this list? This is just awful. Of course, I am not going to bit myself for this, but now I am impatient to know what I did wrong. Whether it was my multiple choice or my writing?? Damn, I was so sure I did super well. Now I am afraid of other grades. I tried calculator, and there is no way I will make it higher than 3.0. I feel like a looser. I have to work how to lose this feeling because it will make worse my next semester. F***!

Relief??

So if I go for search a google and typed "law school grades", it means I stressed out about it? I think so. I have found nice post, not recent though.

More on Bad Law School Grades
I don't have much more to say about getting off to a bumpy start in law school, gradewise. But good heavens, lots of people are doing Google searches or writing me about it. My heart goes out to all of those of you who were disappointed, heartbroken, shaken by your grades, who are now doubting yourself and looking to Google to make sense of it all.

Look, guys, I got a C- and a C+ my first semester of law school. (And two A-s and a B+, to be complete). I was 22nd in the class after that. The next semester I got two As, a couple of A-s, and another B+, and I was 4th in the class. I just kept moving up, and I graduated first. So it's not hopeless. You're not destined to have dismal grades for the rest of your law school career. They needn't hold you back.

Stop gnashing your teeth about what these grades MEAN about who you are and what you're capable of and what the Rest of Your Life is limited to. You are just as smart as you were the day before you got your grades. And now you know something you didn't know before: what to expect from law school exams. March your butt into your professors' offices and sit down with the exam and talk to them about it. We all know you studied your head off, but did you articulate what you knew, or did you study the wrong stuff, or did you have trouble identifying the issues, or were you a disorganized mess, or did you confuse the terminology, or what? Whichever one(s) it was, you're going to fix it next semester. The professor will help you, if you ask. And now you know to ask.

I hope she is right, but then will I be able to make it next semester????!!!!

Time to cry???

Ok, I have recieved my first grade. No shame to tell you that I missed a point to get B-, as a result I have C+. I am not disappointed, I am surprised. After Contracts exam (this is where I have recieved this grade) I felt I did well. Now I see again that my fear is fullfiled. Each time I feel good after exam or any other event that can change something in my life, that exam or event goes badly. Isn't it weird? But when I feel bad, the event goes quite well. So I hope I will not get C on my Property exam.

My days

Less than a week left before the beginning of the semester. I have a work to do, like personal statement, resume and cover letters for internship. But I did not do anything. Like, for example, today I have spent whole day surfing Internet and doing videos from Florida. I am going to send a parcel to my mom, and as a rule I send DVD with other stuff. Now there are some things to send to her, so I need to hurry up to finish DVD. BTW, my stories came up quite interesting. I hope my parents will like them too.

Lawyers and Joes

happy New Year to everybody. I hope this year will be not worse than a past year. I have read my horoscop and ... yesss ... it said a lot of good things about my future. I am really happy.

Right now we are in Florida. Of course, word Florida rises in imaginations palms and unvelievably warm weather. To our greatest disappointement only first part is true about our trip, but weahter turned its back on us, and we disparately suffer cold wind, temperature of mid 40s and lack of sun. We came to Florida with shorts and t-shirts and will leave with hats and gloves we bought in the local Walmart to save ourselves from awful cold weather.

But my story is not about bad weather. It is the storytelling about what happened to use today. This is the story:

Once upon a time... No, it is not mine. Let me try again. So today we went to Orlando downtown to look around, find more cultural entertainment beyond boring and crowded DisneyWorld. After we hit the narrow streets of Orlando we found one parking spot near a meter. Dane turned into it began to back up. Going back in the timeline of my story I have to tell you that we rented Toyota Prius. I am not much in love with this car, I think it needs some work on it, but we found very funny feature - camera on the back of a car that turns on when the car is in reverse mode. As a result of camera use fun Dane used the camera quite often, same in Orlando when he backed up into the parking spot. While he was doing this he commented that the car behind us is surely lawyer's car. I looked carefully into the screen and noticed BMW emblem on the car's front. When Dane backed up too close to BMW behind we suddenly heard screams, "What are you doing? Don't you see where you go?" Those shouts were of the owner of fancy BMW. We stopped, but he continued screaming. Dane got out of the car and began pointing into the camera, and laughing explained that there is a camera and we know how close we back up. The guy (average looking in white shirt and black pants with a bunch of papers underarm) seemed to get queiter with his screams mumbling something like, "Anyway I would not trust this cameras." His next phrase made me laugh. What do you think he told? I will not guess. He said, "you could damage my car. By the way I am a lawyer!" He told this in such a way as if he said, "I a killer" or "I am a President of the United States" No, no... as if he said, "I am God!" First it seemed to me funny because Dane was 100% right that the guy is a lawyer. But then after we left shaking his hand and asking about interesting places in Orlando, I thought through this story. That Orlando attorney afterwards seemed to me arrogant bustard who thinks that if he has a law degree and drives BMW he may threat me with his knowledge and ability to sue me for any reason or fault he may find. Now I understand why so many people hate lawyers, those arrogant asses who thinks they are gods. Indeed, after first semester in the law school I had a power of the knowledge, the ability to protect myself and others by legal ways. However, after today I feel kind of ashamed for having such feeling, because I should not have use my knowledge to be in superiority over other Joes who does not know the law as good as even a law student. Yes, I do not want to work for public law (although I hope I will keep my promise to myself to take some pro bono cases) and I am thinking more about making money. However, it does not allow me to turn into the monster who does not care about others and who knows only own business and not others.

Despite my love to the law, and happiness of knowledge of many things more than others, I hope most of law students will not turn into this guy on Orlando streets who thinks it is normal to threaten ordinary people with "I am a lawyer" thing. Beware arrogant asses, soon I will be equal to you and I am not going to back up in my defense by silence, I will tell you, "I am not care who you are and what school you graduated from, you are the same live person as I am, so behave as a human."

I took a picture of BMW and our rented Prius just to keep the story in mind.

My wishes and plans

You know what I want to do? I would like to sue my school (or any other law school) for IIED (intentioanl infliction of emotional distress). Do you know why? because I have those nightmares several nights in a row about the law school finals I survived. I see that I have got all Cs, or I forgot to take fifth exam, or my professor cannot read what I wrote because I used some unknown symbol system. The worse was just last night where I saw a professor who told me that I wrote unbelievable rubbish and that I am fired. My Goodness, who could think that life will be so tough even after the exams? I cannot stand it. I even afraid to go to sleep. A night before was the worst, because I had a fever due to my sickness. I saw my 4 exams in the way of car plates and road signs and screaming and chanting that I failed. This is funny, but I did not read about such result on other law school students blogs. As a conclusion of all above, I think I am entitled to the victory for IIED :-))

I was planning this post to be aslo about my plans and strategies in the law school for the next semester. But I changed my mind. It is the middle of my break and I do not want to think about such thing as a law school :-)) however, I bought today this book by Turow named "One L." The author graduated from Harward law school. I think it will be interesting to compare my observations and thoughts with the author's who studied in number one law school :-)) I hope I will not get frustraited that I was not persistent in my studying comparing to a Harward law student, or I did something wrong (though, who knows how to do this right?).

Finally, tomorrow we will pack our staff for 6-day trip to Florida. I am kind of exciting, but I am not sure whether I am really excited. I think I am still under influence of my first semester, and I am still in thoughts about how I did it. But I bet I will change my mind tomorrow when I fold my sweaters into small luggage.

Finals are OVEEEEERRRRRRR WOOOOHOOOO

I am so happy that today I had a last final. I even cannot believe it. Now I do not know what to do with my time. I can go shopping, spend time online, go partying, drinking, blogging. All kinds of stuff yey yey yey. Torts went without much of stress but I had a lot of typing. I really enjoyed it. I hope I will enjoy my grades in the same way as I enjoyed the exam ;-))) BUT actually I should not relax much because I have to do my resume and personal statement, and all other stuff for the summer internship. Frankly speaking I do not want to think of this till Christmas. Give me first to survive this holiday ("survive" is too loudly said). yeehhhhh I am just finished my first semester, yyeeehhhh I am ready to have a rest. I will write more later on because now I have to look up the schedule of the movies. I want to see that one with chipmunks (is it correct spelling?)
cheers.

I am back

So it is the same day of my CivPro exam. I watched TV, actually I watched only the frame of TV without knowing what was going on there. I have read some blogs and now I calmed down and want to chat about the law school, its exams and what actually the purpose of studying there.

Of course, my thoughts will be in connection with past exam. Actually with two of them, because the property was the taugh one too with the question what do you think about that and that case and opinion and why do you think the court is right or not. So far from my previous experience and also from realistic expectations, I assumed that the law school is teaching the law. Of course, the law is such a vague substance that you cannot learn all at once. Perhaps I even do not need to learn it but understand its principles. Maybe this is the reason why professors wants us to think as a lawyer looking into the substance of opinions and the regulations, into their purposes and goals and whatever else you want to add to this list. My question is why do I need to know whether the civil procedure regulations are good enough to find the truth from the parties, and whether they are strict enough to limit federal courts jurisdiction, or why the court made a mistake in its opinion?

Here how I think at it. The opinion was made and it is now the precedent, me or another party will apply it to win its own claim and it can work quite well to win. Many people may disagree with me and I will understand them. I think the deep substance of the opinion is useful to know for the understanding of the law and its application. But is it so important to put it on the test? Now look at this fact. I studied hard and learned the sections of the FRCP and property cases. But then another did nothing and came with the textbook and hopes that he/she will have enough time to look it up. Next, that person and I get general question about the goals of the procedure and other general stuff that you may come up with much of the knowledge. The person knows how to "pour water" and I have no idea. Who wins? I may assure the reader that not me. This is what frustrates me a lot. I jeopardize my own grades because I am punished for being not creative and for not thinking about things I did not study. yes, the work of the lawyer is grounded into creativity, but I see that creativity in the using the law regulations and strategies based on it. Not on the phylosophical doctrine.

Why to put such questions for the law students on the test? What is the purpose? Will it be helpful in law practice? Or will it be more helpful to be the professor? Do professors really think we need it?

All those questions seem to have sense and the answer "yes, you need to know this because you are the future lawyer and you have to think about it and know how to put it on the paper" may be persuasive. But is it? I am afraid I will find out after I begin the practice but it will be too late, because my grades will suffer unbearably. How will I explain to my employer that I think that those questions are not so significant to know? And even if it comes up that they are, how will I prepare myself to answer such questions?

Although I began the exams with light mind and a lot of hopes, now I have a feeling of dispair and the fear that I came back to the educational system where you learn what you need to get a good grade on the exam by knowing what the professor wants to hear from you, but not by the knowledge of law, that I think much more interesting and applicable in our life than mooshy doctrines and theories.

God help me to survive torts that also will have the question of policy.

My third exam and I wish last

I even do not know if I want to write this post? But I will try. Maybe in a couple of years when I am practicing, I will read this and laugh. So today I have CivPro exam. I went horribly. I MEAN it. The first question was so easy, because it was based on the law, true law, i.e. issue spotting. But then the nightmare began. The second question was about tribal court jurisdiction. I do not mind, I liked that subject. BUT the professor gave us an hour for the answer. I had no idea what to do with that question. Moreover she asked to draft long-arm statute that I did not read about. I mean I knew what it is about, but I did not look at it precisely to answer. I do not want to go into details, but all the question was about talking about something and I had no idea what to talk about. It was such a despair. I freaked out, I was scared of the question and my answer. What happened to me? I am so frustrated that I do not know how to answer such general questions. I think I failed. I MEAN it. Till this point I enjoyed finals, but now, when three are behind and one is left, I am scared and upset. Exams in law school sucks. I am afraid it will happen so that I am not an A student.

From one side I should not worry about the grades, because it is only grades. But then the grades will help me to find first job. I wonder do I really need to worry so much about those stupid grades? Nevermind, my mind is off. I better go to do torts, another pain of my life.

Bye bye the times when I was a good student. Welcome time when I have C's instead of A's.

Tomorrow is exam and I do nothing

So I got up this morning with a lot of nervousness and thoughts about my exam tomorrow, also with plans to begin studying as soon as possible. But I did not. I spent an hour online reading someone's blogs. Such a bummer. Now I hope I will jump into the studying.

My first law school exam

Ok... so yesterday I did it. I took Contracts and now I do not have any feelings about it. Which is quite weird because I am supposed to be nervous and worrying. Actually, I am. Beginning this morning. I looked up the instructions how to write law school exams that our legal writing professor handed out, and not I feel that I did essay part totally wrong. Well, maybe not totally but partially, which made me upset now. As said that instruction, "crucial point in law exams you ar not telling what you know but applying what you know." This is what I did not do in some of the questions. Now I am frustraited I did not this print before. Anyway, this is my brief description of what happened that "ugly" morning:

I got up not easily because last nights I went to sleep late and I got up late, so my body did not get used to get up early. As a result I left the house as usual. After watching news about snowfall last night which continued into the morning of Tuesday - the day of my exam - I figured out I would better leave ASAP. As a result I forgot my coat and freacked out, while driving, whether I took my supplement (the only material allowed on the exam). I spent 2 hours and 15 minutes on the road. As a result I was at school after 9 am, when exam began at 8.15. Fun.. huh? but I was not nervous, which made me nervously think why I was not and was it a good sign to the outcome of the exam :-)))

I went to the registrar, fabulous woman, who without any wink sitted me to another class room for the people who is late. She said they were expacting even more people. Actually, I benefited very well from being late, because I was sitted in the room with other 3 students, while all other students were in the crowded room sweatening and worrying that somebody already switched to another question. Yep, I was alone in room's conner enojing reading of 52 multiple questions with my legs on teh chair next to me. Damn, I must admit I enjoyed this exam! Multiple questions went well (I am scared of this thought now, because I believe, that when I think it went well, it means it did not. So many times it was so... uhmmm). The essay was harder, however, now I am thinking that I wrote it not so bad.

Finally, I need to put aside my worries about the lack of worries and think of the next final - Property. Yeah, I will have much more writing there. I need now to finish my outline and go trhough law of Perpetuities. Then maybe try to write at least one exam. Uhhh... Instead I want to go to mountains and walk in the snow. Such a life.

If you ask me who are new Russians, here is some part of the answer

Well, I know that I was not blogging for a while. But I have read quite a bit other's blog. Anyway, my main point of this post will be the article I found about. New Russians in American world. What the most I liked was the their characterization

The product of a culture where materialism was once the cardinal sin, they are itching to wag their status both at home and abroad. “In Moscow, they have their Mercedes and BMWs, their Versace and Armani, watch collections, armies of bodyguards, and estates on the outskirts of the city,” the Russian continues, “but it’s like having a fantastic party atop a minefield: Sometimes, there’s an accident, and somebody gets killed.”

The funniest thing that despite her family's money she wants to stay in US.

Her mom worries that Anna is losing her Russian, so this fall she is taking private lessons. She can’t envision moving back to Moscow, she said. “I belong here,” she insisted, even if her dad wished he could see more of her in Moscow.

So what can I say? I love you America!!

oh.... a half way through semester

Today was another day when during three classes I tried to find courage to talk in the class and I did not. And I am trying to do this not mostly for the grade but because I want to talk to remember and understand things better. Why don't I talk? I have no idea. At one point I think I do not have enough what to say and then when I do not say anything, I am getting bored and do not want even to hear what is going on in class. Sad, uh? So far last Thursday night I have spent slepless from 2 am till 4 am just because I worried that I didn't begin to do my outline, when others did, and I worried what I have got on my memo for Legal Writing. As a result, my memo was fine. My Contracts outline did not move even a word. I am not regreting it now very much, just because I have another paper to do. But I still regret that I do not talk in the classes. That is what I do not like in American law schools' system, the way how they teach. When in my previous school, we had seminars where the only persons who talked were students, and just through prepairing to this talk I learnt. Here, I just do not want sometimes to show my thought, and I guess just out of fear that I will be wrong and then all class will look at me like I am an idiot. I already have looked like this when I asked where I get cans for homeless drive, or whatever they have in the school now as an action. Apparently, it was not cans from pops, but cans of food. Honestly, I am not much into bringing food for homeless, just because of my views on homeless here. But just because if everybody shows up with those cans, then the professor will not call on people, but will look for volunteers. Which I do not mind if she calls on my, because I will get a chance to talk, a chance that I look forward from myself each day and without any success as I have told above.

Anyway, I have to read Property now, the class I really like despite of all the difficulties of perpetuities and trusts that we go through now. Then I have to think about memo for Legal Writing. Actually not only think but write at least something, because it is due on Friday.

Another week is passed..

and it was ok. We had a lot of reading and I did not anything with my outlines. One of professors gave us this lecture on the subject how to outline. And what you think? everybody is happy that now they know how to outline? WRONG answer! Now everybody is freaked out (including me) that they have to do outline and they do not want, they do not have time and all other things. But my point of this post is not this. BTW, it is almost 10 pm now and I am really sleepy, so I am not going to bore myself with long discussion.

So ABA sent out me this electronic letter with an article about shortage jobs in the legal field and accessive number of law school graduates at the same time. Result? Disaster for many graduates who has left a law school with thousands dollars of debts and with jobs of $50 grand per year. Sucks, does it not? Now what do you think I think about it? This news is definetly not the happiest one. It looks like the situation in my country repeats. Scarry. Sorry. this is it for today, because I am sleepy and I do not want to write who knows what.

G

Law School began and already ate a half of my nerves...

...sleep, free time, calm heart and mind, and many other things. I know I have intended to write almost everyday, but shock of studying, reading, writing, and who knows what else doing, killed all my good intentions. Finally, after a month of that stressful work in law school, I have recalled my plans to write about my days in the school. So here I am, coming back from the darkness of studying law.

During orientation week I hated 2 and 3 year students, who insisted on the fact how hard school will be for us, first year, and how scared we will be. Well, I did not believe them and I made a mistake. My first month was a hell. It is better now, but those first days of not understanding what is going on around me, put me in high distress and disbelief in own strenghth. Moreover, that spirit of competition that I feel each moment, kills me even more. Maybe I just imagine things, but this is how I feel. Huge amount of reading of the cases that contradict each other. My mind had hard time, and still has, switching from civil law system to case law. I mean, what the heck to dig into all those case law, if you can make rules, that still can be quite flexible and live by those rules. Well, of course, there are down sides (is it correct spelling?) of civil law in lack of flexibility. But I find case law superb wrong regarding too high role of the attorneys. Without attorney, even with a winning case, you will not do much, just because of lack of skills in research, knowing the procedure, what fact to stress and what case to use. It is good for attroneys, but not as good for people. On another hand, though, it is good for people, because with a losing case they still may win having a good attorney. Loose or win for a client, it is still will be always win for an attorney, just because he will be able to get his/her buck anyway. This a thought I have now. Possibly in another month it will change to something esle. The good thing is I begin getting used to case law and it makes to me some sense. But still I can be angry reading two cases on the same issue, that still contradict each other.

So my days are pretty busy. Mornings I go to swimming pool for 5.30 am or run, then I get ready and go to the school. In the school I am around 7.30 am, as a rule. I check my email, read before class and off to go for a class at 8.30 or 9.00 am (depends what day). An hour bentween classes is really helpful, just because I can sit down and read through what I have read at home. And, as I understood recently, it is a good thing to do, because after 10 pages for one class and then 10 for another, I loose the track of events, sense and everything else. So I try to go back to assigments and skim them.

What I really love about school is Internet everywhere. I assume you can get it even in a restroom hehehe.... for me, adict to Internet, it is great. The only thing is that I do not have much time to go to web sites and do something, even writing emails.

I am in real trouble with legal writing class. I love it, but I know I write total rubbish. Bless God tutors are really helpful. I think the theme of tutors I will continue in my next note.

Cheers,
G

Yesssss.... I am freeeeeee!!!!!

Finally I wrote my research paper. Thanks to a teacher who allowed to finish it after test. I had a week to do that, but spent only two days and already tired. Now I can do whatever I want to do! Isn't it great to feel so free from any responsabilities? So what am I going to do?

• take more photos, practice and enjoying photography
• read books from my "this is what I plan to read' shelf
• walk around city, attend museums and numerous siteseeings. I have found a bunch of web site for this purpose
• learn Spanish. I had last Friday a client who speaks no English and only Spanish. I talked to her with an interpreter, and tell you the truth I was upset I could not talk to her by myself. Well, I will work on it.

This is my plan. Surely, something will be added along the summer. I LOVE summer and I am happy it came.

J.

My tiresome day

I looked up other's weblogs and realized I had fogotten about mine, so here I am writing this.

A day went really crazy. I had a project to do for one of my classes (bless God this was the last one for this semester). So my wonderful team (another 5 students) decided to do nothing for that project. Of course, nobody told me that in my face, but they kept ignoring my emails and questions. So as a result, I had to spend all day yesterday to work on a project paper, to do work for which a credit will be shared between all of us. I was really mad, and I think I am still mad. Dane told I should not be, because it is always in life like that. it is almost like that TV commercial of chips and salsa, where guys do nothing but a girl finish the project and everybody praises a team. I hate such things. I don't like when people ride others backs to their aims. Anyway I have to relax and forget about it.

It was hot and nice day. I took pics of some bees. They are really awsome. I didn't touch my camera for so long. So I was happy. I already editted them and posted online.

I have another research paper to do, and looks like I don't have any strength and wish to begin it. Hopefully I will this evening.

Being sick sucks!!!!!

A week ago I was really sick. Stupid me, get out to outside to Kingsoopers when it was snowing outside. Strong and cold wind did his job - next day I felt weak, I hated myself and life as well, because I was tired of fever, congestions and other consequnce. Well, in a week and a half I felt better, but now defenetly I wear warm coats despite pretty warm weather.

So what happened to me so far? Nothing special. I have finished Presumed Innocent and started Northanger by Jane Austine. I read last one in three days. I loved it. Now I am reading A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby. It is so-so. He touches a lot of problems of present humanity, but I don't think he did very deep. There are 10 or 20 pages left.

BTW, I decided to create my reading list on Amazon. It is a nice idea to track my own readings and to write my opinion. Not only because somebody will read, but also for myself. Spit it down wil help me to write more.

I am waiting when my mom comes. She promissed. I hope she will :-)

Take care

I am just trying new things with uploading photos. This is parade. I didn't take pictures. My friend did.

Nothing special

Hi all. I finally came back to blog. I went to visit my parents. It was short travel in my spring break, but it was fun. Otherwise, I would have sit at home and did nothing.

But I got sick today. Idiot me, went out without a coat outside. I thought it was a spring, and it is indeed, but snow came and cold wind. Here is the result of it - I am coughing, sneezing and hate myself for being so irresponsible.

Picture you see was taken on Hawaii. Nice isn't it? I just thought about starting my travel blog for my friends on my native language, because they don't speak English, at least not everybody. So if I put a blog it will be fun for them to read, and for me a memory. Looks like it works nicely on page. Plus, I can download any size. GREAT! I will start my blog right away.

I am at home, but is it a home now

After horrible two tests and 3 flights I reached my parent's house. Now it is time to realize how small is an appartment I lived in, how humid it is on streets, and how much people are concerned about politics. Such a life, but I am glad to be here. Now it will be busy time meeting friends and people I know. Also I want to buy some clothes to look nice, because American clothes is not the best and not as outstanding as European.

I am in real leasure, doing nothing. Maybe I will sit and read a book. However, I am glad I came here. Some changes are so good.

I know this I said some rabbish but I wanted to keep writing at least something in my blog.

G.

Open House

Today I went to the law school Open House. I had such a great feeling of being a part of that school. I still cannot believe I made it, I got in. Actually the stress of admission process passed and I am getting calmer. The negative side is that I began to eat too much. I am not very happy with this, because I gain weight. I hope I will stop soon. Well, what else to do, if I spend the most of my time at home, watching TV or doing my homework.

So back to a law school. I understood how great is American style of communication. I remember when I came to the US I didn't like such meeting and I didn't see any use of them. Now I think this is the greatest way to meet people and know more about them and about environment they live, work.

The most important thing that I realized is that I am positive, I am sure I will survive the law school. Before I really worried, because English as a second language could prevent me from successful study; however, I changed my mind after talking to law students. I noticed, that law students are same people, grad students as any other students. Not all of them are super smart people that do nothing but study. As I understood that also have free time to relax, watch TV and do other fun stuff of ordinary young people. Moreover, I talked to one of the international students. As I understood there won't be anything difficult, and that I shouldn't worry about anything. Well, of course, I will have to work and study, but I have a feeling that it won't be as awfull as so many people say about a law school.

I am sure I will survive, and I will do my best to be in the top of class.

Nice, I WILL BE A LAW STUDENT IN FIVE AND A HALF MONTHS!!!!

I cannot believe myself that I will be at law school beginning Fall 07. After many painful rejections, worries why those people don't like me, and anxiety of opening a mail box expecting next rejection are over. I am in the school I want to be and I still cannot believe that I am in. I have a great joy and relief that I don't want to worry any more, at least, until August. However, thought about the whole process comes to me periodically and makes me scared. "And what would be if you didn't get this acceptance?" Of course, I had some backup as two nice schools and I would be happy to attend them. Just that we would spend some money for moving and adjusting to a new place (:-)) like it would be something new to me! after several changes in residence). But although having that happiness my ambition was not satisfied with the way things went. I applied to several schools of the first tier with a hope to get many acceptances because of my background. But it was a great shock when rejections one by one came into my mailbox from school I considered safe.

"What is wrong with me or those guys?" I asked myself many times with disguist to both. I was afraid of many things that possibly were wrong in my file, but the worst was I couldn't know what fact of my application prevented admissions committees to make such a RUDE decision as reject me. First I thought it is my transcript that is hard to be translated into American grade system. However, some schools sent to me rejection, although I submitted evaluation to them. Then I decided that the problem is with my personal statement and looks like I was right. I went to my tutor with it and asked her to tell me truth about what she thinks. She said it was great; however, I didn't sell myself in it. Possibly because of this it didn't work on the people who read it, actually not read by skipped through too many of essays they have to read during a day.

SELL MYSELF to employer, dean of admissions, co-worker, and maybe even to a friend. I think, a couple of years ago I wouldn't agree with it, because I would say I am as I am and if people don't see that it should be theie own problem. However, now, I understand how many things work. The problem is how to learn to sell myself. What should I have written in that personal statement? How great I am? That I am smart and intelligent? Maybe it was just a cultural that I cannot do that - write about myself with a high opinion, my opinion, not others?

I am happy with the decision I have and there is no doubt for me that I will go to that school. But inner voice said that I had a lot of time to prepare for this process and I didn't do enough to compete with others. Although I reached a goal I had, I still not satisfied with the way I acted and did all that. What would I do if I had another chance to do all over?

1. I would spend at least a year for the prparation to LSAT, not as I did preparing only 2 months.
2. I would not be in hurry with submission of applications. First, I would spend more time on my personal statement. Of course, it was difficult to me, because I never have done it in my life. Moreover, my wonderful tutor decided to take time off and I didn't have any person to talk about what I write and how well I write. So instead of "selling myself" I did tell a story about my life.

I think those are the points I would do differently. I understand that it is too late to cry out about my own mistakes and to be worried about my unaccomplishments in admission process, but I am really happy that my admission story has a happy end. Imagine, I even called to admission asking them whether it is not a mistake that I was accepted. That feeling of a satisfaction of the acceptance is a great thing after all survived rejections. Yes, the ambition was hurt, but what should be important for me? Process or result? Yes, the process was delightful even with all its anxiety, but I happy with the result and I don't want my mind to go back with any doubts in my own abilities. What I should take from all that is the lesson of "selling myself" and "writing better". Not sure about working harder, because I think my work was really hard those months of law schools preparations.

Thanks to God. I AM IN!!!!!!!!

Did I forget abut Valentines Day again?

Ok, I got up this morning, jogged, took a shower, turned on TV, and, my Gosh what I saw. It is a Valentine Day today. Oh, noo, I forgot to buy the chocolate to my Lovely. Ah, the heck, just go and congratulate him, with a sweet kiss. That will be ok. What do you think? He gave me an ENORMOUSLY LARGE bear. I am the happiest. I always wanted to have a big bear. I love stuffed animals. I have elephant, dog (the gift to family's friend child, who grew up from toys, so I kept it to myself), small bear (another gift of me dearest), another dog and a rebit from Frontier Airlines. Isn't it sweet that now I have a huge bear?

Beside Valentine Day I wanted to talk about friends and friendship. Did you ever had a friendship with a person who makes you think that you are the smartest person in the world? Well, I did and I do. I cannot call the relationship with that person as a friendship. Maybe she does, but not me. Our "friendship" (I love those quotes because they show unrealated character of the word friendship to my relationship to this person) was more as a consecuencces of my life. I knew her before, then we didn't see each other for a while, and now we live in the same city. Really interesting coincidence but I won't go into a lot of details.

So this person, sticked to me with her friendship, and I accepted for a while, but now I understood that our values are very different. I always hated narrow-minded people, who thinks that their opinions can be the only that are correct and that everyone has to stick to them and approve. Of course, it is great to have an opinion, and to be devoted to it; however, this opinion should be based upon not only own preferences to things how you want them to be but also upon simple results of brain work, facts, anlysis and other logical processes that every human being can have from the birth or through learning and development. The person I am talking about lacks all those abilities, leaving only her opinion about the things in the way how she wants them to be. In simple words, she wants her life and things in her life to be better then anybody's else. If they don't, she will be frustrated and aggrevated, jealous and envious, trying to complain about the things that don't go her way. I know I do the same way sometimes, however, I have some type of the flexability, because I know that I am in different country now and I have to be accustomed to the new culture I live in now and I am going to stay in till possibly my last day. her narrow mind doesn't want accept new rules, and she is trying to convience me that people around are WRONG, she is the one who is RIGHT. There is no respect to the customs and rules of others. Her mind also is clogged by laziness and the lack of curiousity. She lives here for a couple of years and doesn't know many aspects of life she lives in now. Unfrortunately, it looks like that she even doesn't want to be involved in the learning of the new living style she is in.

Oh, no, actually I am wrong. She enjoys to show herself as a person who is from the high class. Damn it. Does it matter that she doesn't have the best service in the airlines? Does it matter that somebody didn't answer all her questions and advised to come over and to spend time talking in person? No, she thinks that everybody has to bend themselves in front of her, becausse she pays money, because she lives now in the country where everybody has to give the best services, because a customer is always correct. Yes, partly she is right, however, you cannot demand what is impossible or what is not paid for by you .

Oh, God, she tried to introduce her friend to me, and I think that was over the edge. I could survive one person like this, but not two. Greedy, uninterested in other things beyond their make-up, good sales and husband's income. Narrow-minded, who doesn't want to adjust to the new conditions of life expecting everybody to adjust to them, to their wishes and desires. Why in the Earth would I be so stiff? why should I demand everybody to follow my princeples of life, when there are so many people in this country and over the world, who may demand the same. Why are there people, who cannot realize that their wishes should be compromized sometimes for the heck of others who is around you. That would make everybody's lives easier, first of all for the same person who doesn't want to be compromised.

I noticed this feature among many Russian immigrants. I guess, other nations who immigrated have the same problems, but the most of immigrants I meet and know are immigrants from the former Soviet Union. And I can tell you up front, that those people, of course not all, are demanding demanding demanding. They think they are the center of the world and everything should be done for them in return for nothing. demand demand and are lazy to do something for themselves. I HATE it. First months of my life in US were the same way, I demanded free English classes, less beauraucracy and other small things, that I could have found compromise for, but I didn't want to. Then I thought, "Hey, slow down, because you are in another culture, you are the one who should follow those rules, although they are new to you." What a relief I had to follow my own conclusion. Well, of course, my curiousity in all things around me helped me with that, because I am not that lazy ass who will sit on a couch waiting for help and complaining how bad things are (I do it sometimes, I must confess). I go to places, I ask questions, and I get flexible with the information and with the events.

Anyway, I guess that "friendship" is not for me, and I will try to part with that person, because all those "high society" minds make me mad, crazy and unstable.

What is happening to Blogger? Is it on Google now? That is weird. But maybe good for the Blogger. At least I don't need to remember my login name, just put in the email. Sweet.

I was going to write something serious, because I was in mood after my Fridays commitment, but after a glass (well, and a half) and a good meal I cooked, I feel so much relaxed. Now to the worst or the best I turned on Bravo channel and damn, there is Madonna's show. I love this woman. I know she is a bitchy and you can tell from her face. But her music is great. Her songs. Oh... when I am in bad mood I listen to her "Frozen", when I am in good mood I can listen to any of her songs. I wouldn't say I like very much her last show. Well, I expected new songs, but not remixes of the old ones. But I think it is ok with me, because now I can sit and recall the album her song is from. Nice. I love Fridays and Madonna. Look at her shape! Woman of .. how old is she? Her late 40s? I wish to be in the same shape, and with the same amount of money she has, and the engergy, maybe even the amount of men? I went too far. Who knows how I look in my 40s. I hope not with a big stomach and lazy ass.

What did I want to talk about? I wanted to tell that I am the person of nerves. I worry about everything: from mid term test to the word I said to somebody and I thought that it was too tough. My nervousness reflects on everything I am doing, including the human being. Like today. I was so frustraited with those stupid clients (not all of them are stupid but three of them were). People get into trouble and that blame everybody else, but not themselves about what happens to them. I don't think it is right. Sometimes I believe in the idea that a person builds own life and in many cases that person (which means me, you he and she etc) creates problems and then blames other people, expecting the help from the outside. Of course, there are so many cases where people just got in trouble despite they were very careful and smart about their life. But so many cases I see where people just negligent and arrogant about their own life. They do the stupidest things and then expect some Saint Peter will come to save them. The worst part of the story, that everybody will be blame for such unluck they have.

Sometimes I start blame myself for being so critical. You see my life was always safe. Well, my childhood was spent in parent's love, but we lived in freaken poverty. I wore second-hand clothes, we ate only potato that we grew on the garden field. I hate those times. But my parents took care of me. Now I am taken care of as well, so I didnt see VERY horrible times, when I had to take care of myself. But I don't think this fact says that I cannot critisize those people, because I care of my life and I am responsible (at least sometimes). If I do decision, I have to weight it and ask around to figure out whether I do the right thing. While those people think they can get along with their negligence without any bad consequences.

I think my mind goes somewhere far, so I will stop at this point. The only conclusion I want to say is that I don't want to work for public, because working for public is working in the field of taking decision for somebody and in the field of irresponsible people. I don't like irresponsability and the lack of mind. Too tough? Yes. I don't mind to help people who is in trouble by unluck or just by someone's arrogance, but I don't want to help losers who are looking for an excuse of their foolish and hollow mind.

I better go, because nice movie started, but I will be back to this subject not once, because it is too touchy to me.

It is hard to start what I planned

Before I start my stupid homework (I have a test tomorrow) I thought why not to write a couple of lines. My wonder is what about to write. Just recently I read some blogs and I was impressed how some people keep up with updating them, what I cannot tell about myself.

Anyway, lately I am trying to keep myself busy, but I keep stucking on Internet. I surf someone's web site, blog, or just who knows what. However, I try to keep myself follow the plan.

So the things I want to do in the nearest future:

1. read A Civil Action. because I am going to law school next fall I decided to read the recommended literature, and, bless God, among that recommended list I have found nice fiction. Also I found this bood in my library. I bought it a year ago or less in ARC.
2. learn photoshop. I have the program. I have the photos. I have the BOOK. YEsss I hope in addition to this I have the imagination and creativity.
3. learn Spanish. Yeap, I talked to my mom, and she is like, "hmm... if there are so many Spanish speaking people around, why won't you learn their language. It will defenetly help in you future work, whatever it will be." Thanks mom! You gave me wonderful idea. So I took first steps - I ordered online Spanish books and CDs. They didn't come yet, but I am excited.
4. just relax. I have so much nerves recently. All those law schools just killing me. Some of them rejected me, which made me almost cry, and some don't give any response that makes me feel even worse. This thing will be the hardest to do. I will see.

So those vows were settled in my mind and I hope they will be in my actions. Just keep doing I guess.

G.

Give me a gun!

Give me a gun, and I will shoot myself. That is what I feel right now. I am nowhere, I go nothing what will (or can) happen to me. I am disgusted with my life without any result. HELP! HELP! SOS people. Help my soul to relax and think ptimistically.

I don't know what I am tired of, but I never felt what I feel right now. I never was so messurable like I am those days. I think that I did miss something in my past. Maybe I just was of too high thought of myself. Yes, it was, but why did it turn me into zomby who hates everything around me - people, husband, dog.

Give me a gun. I will shoot myself. If not, I will laugh from myself about everything what happening to me right now. But I wonder what happening to me? The life sucks. My mind sucks me also. WHat to do? What I want to do? I know what I want to do. but I don't know how to get faster to the point what I desire to have so much.

Help me. Help me. I don't want to die. I don't want to look like a weak girl who wants to give up without even the trial to make a situation better. I want to be strong. BUT.... so often I do have this "but" that eats my soul and mind with a spoon and a fork. But I can't be strong because I see so many examples of other people who work harder than me and being in a similiar situation like I am right now they achieved more than I did. It is so painful to think that you are not what you think of yourself. It is so painful to know that you are weak.

I know, I know that it is a journey, and my circumstances might be different from others. But (you see, again this "but") I can't make my mind that it may justify my situation right now.

You will ask me what my situation is right now. I will tell you. My head is sticking from the ass . Doesn't matter whose, but it stinks around, and it stinks in my head. I don't work, I don't study pretty good. I wanted to get into law school, and now I realized that I can't because the test result is so bad. I hate myself, because I think that I am not so strong and smart like I thought I was. I am exhausted and my mind is crazy. I am tired. I am tired of thoughts that I am not able to reach something at least till my 30. Look at other girl, they studied, they worked, they were independable in a while.

Now look at me. What do you think? A looser? Yes, that is what I am talking about.

Wait a minute. I am not dying right now. I can do something.

Hey, you see. Again I want to show that I am much better than someone else.

Life, life. I expected so diffferent life from what I have now. I thought I will get into law school in a first year, I thought I will study and be the best student. I thought I will be independable enough to buy a car at least in a couple of years. Now I don't se that it can happen to me. SO many things happened without any plan and prediction. Now those things kill my mind. I wish it killed me with a gun or a knife. Nope, it kills me with worse thing and this thing is the depression. May I send to the hell that depression? Ah. Help me SOS

G.

Crazy days

I think I am crazy lately. My competitive spirit drives me nuts, turning me into girl without any self-confidence. I am tired of myself and my own thoughts about failing and that I won't be good enough. I am just lazy. I know this perfectly. You don't have to tell me that. I spend days in lesure, trying to make of myself the girl who is very smart from her birth, but it is not so. It is not truth that you can be just smart, you have to, you must work to get something, to earn something. And I don't do that. I work hard for 3 days and then I just don't care of it. How am I going to get something if I just put my ass on a chair without any wish to do my homework. I hate myself. I hate my weakness, I hate my unconfidence, I hate my laziness.

I know it is wrong to hate, I try to be kind, but it doesn't help. I must take a stick and bit myself with it very hard, then maybe my mind will awake and will do something, will work.

You are stupid and lazy Genious.

G.

My writing, my pain, my nervousness

How it is wonderful to write for myself. I know that no one will read those lines ( I believe so), that is why I can write every rubbish I know, I can say, and I can write. Right now I am seating on my assignment that I have for myself. Yes, my own assignment. I gave a word to myself to write at least one essay per day, and now I regret about this promise, because it seems to me that I am unskillful stupid girl. Anyway, I have to do that, and I know that I like to write, but I hate to do that by assignment. oh, how to break myself, stricke my head with thoughts and make myself go ahead in writing.

I am crazy about law school. I study so hard becuase of it, and I am so scared to fail. I am so scared that my dreams and time I spent for all those preparations will be lost, because I will fail. I am crazy, I know. I know I have to, I must to believe myself that I can do it, that I can go through. I want to be smart girl, I want to show everyone that I also have some brain. I think, I am so childish, I am so far away from maturety. It is hoorible to know that. It is not because of my behaviour. It is because I try to understand many things, but I am not able to do. That is why I think that there are so many smart people on this planet, but I regret that I am not among them. What do you thing, my reader? Am I smart enough for my age? Maybe I need to study more and more? But it looks like everything I read doesn't stay in my head. I try, I try hard, but everything somewhere, not with me. I don't want this pressure, but I do it by myself, I create it. I suffer it. It is not big deal if I won't receive what I want, but I want what I want. I cannot go aside. All the time everything flew in very good stream. But I am so scared of future. I don't do anything, and I don't know what I should do. I bet on one thing, and I hope, believe in it. But what will happen if it fails? I don't know. That is why I think about stopping and not going further. Maybe just to step on solid ground, where I feel that I will stay on it. Another question is if it is possible to find such ground, ground that will be good enough in all my plans.

You will ask me what plans I have. I want to be independent. I want to be rich. I want to afford a car, a house and good travels. I want to be famous. I want to be good in my job. I want to love my job. I want to have big money. I want to spend those money thinking that it was gained by my own. That's what I want. Is it too pragmatic? Am I too crazy about money? Nope. Not for me.

Now I am total contrary to my dream. I don't want this. My dream I called "solid ground". A life of my dream is that foundation that will make me happier than I am right now. I stuck in the time line. I kick my legs, arms and brain (the last is more harmful). I try to get out of circle, but the horrible thing is that I have no idea when I see a light, if I ever see it.

Wasn't it pessimistic message? I know, I wanted to write it long time ago. Now I did after several attempts to write something smart for my stupid GRE question.

The problem of my mind is that it asks all the time if it is good enough to be good in life, to be strong and smart. It doesn't have an answer. Not from people, not from itself.

Blah... blah.. blah.. Help me, someone, to see my good way. Help me, someone to understand my self, to improve myself, to be strong, persistent and forseeable.

It is a pity that I am not a witch, I can't look into my future and get a hint what to do in presence. Anyway, I live, I must do soemthing to get that future. What I am going to now.

See you with my next stupid thoughts

G

My review of short scene from Awakening by Kate Chopin

I know that I wrote rubbishly in many places, but don't criticicize me please, because it is the first time when I write what I think about a novel.
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The dinner was not so big; there were a few of guests who “were selected with discrimination.” They were different from each other, and as it seems to me every represented diversity of society and age. Mr. Ratignolle represented the Creole. Mr. and Mrs. Merriman look like people who try to be in the high society. For example, Mr. Merriman was famous for his laugh on other’s jokes. Isn’t it good way to be attached to people who won’t like to know you as an equal?
Mrs. Highcamp, a lady who likes young souls and bodies, who likes to be among youth, male youth, using her daughter. She wants to be younger, I think. Maybe she wants to gain that she didn’t have in her youth, enjoyment of merry time among people of opposite sex. She plays with young Victor, she wants his attention. She saw he didn’t pay a lot of attention to her, but she stays “with easy indifference for an opportunity to reclaim his attention, while he was chatting to prettier Mrs. Merriman. Probably “easy indifference” shows that Mrs. Highcamp was often out of attention. I would say she is some kind of a fly who sticks to man’s body.
Miss Mayblunt, about whom people talk as a “intellectual” woman, seems to use her lorgnettes to make such a view. But who knows. It is interesting to notice that fact, that such intellectual and skillful women as Miss Mayblunt and Mademoiselle Reisz are not married. At least Miss Mayblunt has some companion who was with her on the dinner, Mr. Gouvernail. By the way, the description of him as a “observant” is well done. His comment on the scene with Victor and Mrs. Highcamp was detailed and brief enough to notice what was going on that moment. Words “desire”, “red blood” and “gold.”
The decoration of room reminds a wedding, or heaven, something from angels. Edna was without husband, she felt herself as a queen, “the regal woman, the one who rules, who looks on, who stands alone.” That moment she was not, at least she didn’t feel herself like that, a decorative addition to her husband who was the host all the time, probably. I said wedding, because of colors of decoration: gold, pale yellow, red and yellow roses. Moreover, “there came over her the acute longing which always summoned into her spiritual vision the presence of the beloved one.” She doesn’t want to be alone, she wants to be with beloved one, but she overpowered with a sense of the “unattainable.” I don’t know, but I think she wanted physical enjoyment, she possessed the desire, but she wanted to be alone, not to be married, not to belong to someone except herself. Maybe it is the explanation why Edna invited Miss Mayblunt and Mademoiselle Reisz. She wanted to be like them, to be the artist and independent woman.

Useful and useless

You can sit near a lamp that gives you a light, and it seems to be that it is very good for you and helpful. But it doesn't give the warmth, it doesn't touch you, it doesn't talk to you. I put the light on you, you can see ahead, at least a couple steps. But it won't warm you from the cold wind of coming feelings.

Oh my Gosh, I wrote this being in very bad mood, I was mad and frustraited. That stupid movie made me think a lot. Now it is next day, and I am better. Wish you the same ;-)

G

My new reading

Lately I try to read more. For myself, for my future, for my classes. Just a couple minutes ago I finished an article in TIME. It told about hapiness, why we are happy, for what. Amazingly, but we are born with genes that construct us as optimists or pessimists. Moreover, hard times make us stronger not weaker. Person who had stresses being a child will be better in stress situations when he/she is an adult. Now I see why I was so troubled after leaving mother's home. I was not prepared for life. But I think my genes help me to be more positive in hardships, at least this help grows with every day.

ANother reason why I write about this article is the statement that diaries have positive influence on condition of the writer. Writing about things we have gratitude makes us better. And this fact was told in another article as well. I recalled another article, I cut from Ukrainian newspaper, about how good to have the diary. Wow... How could I forget about it? Maybe it is becuase I left my diary with mom. But anyway, I have now more improved diary that I can edit, cut and change, so I have to keep advices of those articles in my mind,, and do what they tell is good to do. :-)

Well, I better go to read more

Best regards,

G

Not bored but struggling

Hey, folks. How is it doing? YOu know what is interesting? I've read my previous notes and I really liked them. I think I am smart, what do you think? But whatever you think I have my view anyway.

Now I wanted to tell you about my plans. Lately I was so mad on myself. Horribly mad. I have so high goals and I do nothing to reach them. It is unfair to myself, and it drives me nuts. So I decided: "OK, Genius, you are genius, so show everybody that you are. Work hard! Read hard! A lot! and critically. I have to write. Will you, my dear reader survive my writing? For example, if I write about the story I've read for my American Literature class? Don't be scared, please, right now, because I didn't read it yet. But maybe in the future, if my smart mind won't fall down crying and screaming that it's not able to do so hard work (I don't think it is hard though) and telling me to stop. Imagine what happens then!!! My heart and mental part of my concious body will be depressed and scream that I am nothing. Here my genious power will come for help, saying be quiet, relax and start my studying.

I am tired of studying, but if I want to have what I want (it was bad sentence), I have to do that. Well, didn't I tell this before? ANyway, I go to read. For you, my dear reader.

G