The end of March

So I have a beginning of a third quarter. The last quarter was stressful, especially exams. I still have nightmares about me failing. Those dreams are the worst crap I ever had seen in my dreams. Horrible. Surprisingly, I did well in one exam and did very-very well in another. When I checked the results for the first two exams, the grades for the third one were not posted. Today I have learned that they are up. But I am so scared to look at them. It is not that I am afraid to fail. Not at all. I think I did well enough not to get the grade lower than B. But I need A soooo much and I am stressing out about it. Even now, while writing this post I am thinking whether I should go and look. But then I am afraid that if I got B, I will not be able to sleep and my nightmares will be worth than I have now. Hell, no, I am going to wait till tomorrow. ... oh should I??? Imagine, I wrote a last sentence and went to check my grades. O, God, help me!!! ........... ok, checked. Got A but with a low points score. A little upset, since would like to have a better score, since I thought I knew a little bit more than it needed for a solid A, although (being honest) not enough for a high score. rrrrr.... I am going to sleep, hopefully with sweet dreams.

Exam

The frustrating part of school is that you may go to the exam with a confidence that you know the most of the material, and that you will do very well. But then you are walking out of that exam with a feeling that much more studying could be done, and that "I know the material" was very deceitful feeling.

This is what I felt yesterday after a Corporate Tax exam. No, I am sure that I did not fail. But, damn, I could do better.

Stressful times

Two days ago while sitting in a school's study room, which I had shared with other two students from my program, I heard their worries about approaching finals.

Being frank with you, till that day I was thinking of exams, but I was not freaking out. But a chain reaction from their talks passed to me quickly, despite my angry resistance.

I have less than two weeks before time when I have to pull out my outlines and spend 3.5 hours writing answers. My two outlines are half-done, one outline looks as a blank page. As always I had planned to catch up on a weekend, and as always I did not. I feel the energy is leaving my body and I have no time to replenish it.

Anyway, I guess my point is I begin worrying and I know it is no good.

Inspiration --> motivation --> I am here

I have got an inspiration to start blogging again. Since my life is mostly spent with books and in communication with people who do not care much about events in my life, I have decided to annoy my blog abandoned for so long time with my silly thoughts.

Since a school is a center of my life, I will begin with it. Last quarter ended with good grades (my points received were not excellent, but high enough to get As). This quarter I am taking Estate and Gift tax, International Taxation and Corporate Tax I. International Taxation is most complicated and boring (BTW, this is what I am avoiding to do at this moment but creating this blog entry). I also continue working in a clinic, a time-consuming but interesting stuff.

Beyond-the-school life is boring - TV, shopping, cooking and rare meetings with friends (and by "rare" I mean I did not see them for more than a month). Physical exercises are on my to-do-list but by the end of the day they end up on my things-not-done list. This continues from the beginning of the quarter. It is a pity, because my body looks terrible - fat and ... no, I am not going to talk about gross things.

Now, update is done and I have no excuses for not studying.

By the way, the reason I decided to write is that a February bar exam is approaching, and I see many people with BarBri books in the library and in the school's halls. So what I wanted to say is that I am SO HAPPY that I have passed the bar exam and I am SO GLAD, that rather than studying Con Law or Criminal law or whatever, I need to do my homework for International Taxation. Thank you, God!!!

Outlines online .... and I can use it!

Finally I am studying a class (classes) for which I can fearlessly use Internet sources.  You know what class it is? Individual Tax.  Web site www.irs.gov provides information in most readable and understandable manner.  :-)

As a continuation of my previous post

So I was talking about relation between grades in a law school and a future career. A couple of days after my post, where I talked about a lesser impact of the law school grades after five years into the legal career, I received another monthly issue of job postings from my law school. Skimming over postings I noticed one from a large law firm--Holland & Hart. They were seeking a corporate attorney with a legal experience of not less than 8 years... [now, bitting of drums, most interesting part] ... and among required documents for an applicant to submit was an unofficial transcript from a law school.

So, yes, I must say, if you want to be in a large law firm, get good grades.

Do bad grades impact your success on the bar exam?

While I was waiting in a law school’s cafe for my lunch to warm up in a microwave, an article in magazine drew my attention. As it appeared later, a magazine is one of those cute magazines for law students that try to give so-called “smart” advices (unfortunately, very often too stale and useless) to law students, trying to convert them into “real” professionals.

An aforementioned article talked about grades in a law school. The article’s point was that grades will follow you during all your life. Some law school professors concluded that law school grades have both short-term and a long-term impact on student’s life. Put it differently (as I understood that article), if you are a C student, you are going to be a loser for all your professional life. [Indeed, I may have biased view on such issues, since I am one of the “not-in-the-top-50%-of-the-class” students.]

I believe there is some truth to such statement, as I was convinced by my own experience of rejections for job interviews (I am not even talking about getting an interview) and since I am more than sure that rejections occurred because of my crappy grades.

From my communication with practicing attorneys, I learnt that the grades definitely have a short-term impact: as a job applicant and a young attorney you do not have an experience and your grades are what a potential employer will look at with hopes to find out about your diligence in work and learning. However, after getting some experience, it is your professional skills that is important for an employer but not your grades you have received five years ago.

But who knows, maybe I do not know much about current legal job market and I am wrong about long-term impact. I will let my future to prove the accuracy of article’s conclusions.

What made me upset, mad and irritated is this article’s statement: grades impact student’s success on the bar exam. According to the author, grades constitute 70% of student’s chances to pass a bar exam. What? What bullshit? [Pardon my French]. Here I am, a no-so-good student with crappy grades who passed the bar exam from the first time, and there are students, who had much better grades than I do and they DID NOT pass. How will the author [or whoever made that conclusion] explain my situation?

Why am I saying all this? I think I understand good motivations of the author for writing that article—he/she wanted to develop in 1Ls that desire to get “good grades” that by all means will assist a future young attorney to find a decent job that will help to pay student loans. This is a good intention, no doubt. But what the author did not take into account, is that there are B- and C students who need different motivation and may read that unsupported crap and believe in failure on the bar exam and, later, in profession.

In other words, think positive, law students whatever grades you have. There are thousands of examples, that show different reality. Professor, on the other hand, should stick to their Socratic Method.

International Tax Blog: International Financial Scams - Overseas Investments, Lotteries, Inheritances, Gifts, etc.

I cannot believe that there are people who continue to believe in those scams! So much is written, so much is talked about...

International Tax Blog: International Financial Scams - Overseas Investments, Lotteries, Inheritances, Gifts, etc.

Supreme Court Seating Game - The Washington Post

Supreme Court Seating Game - The Washington Post

Brief Update: the life is going on

So among several goals I have recently created for myself, I have included "writing posts to Blogger more often."  Since there were periods when I wished to post about current events and some thoughts but at the same time I felt it is not appropriate to do that without at least some mentioning what is going on in my life, I posted nothing.  In fact, I was waiting for the time and day when I briefly describe at what stage of my life I am now but, unfortunately, I have been postponing that day finding an excuse in "my busy life," which is, actually, was not that busy, to spare a couple of minutes to write what I am writing now.

Taking my story back to summer of 2010, I will repeat that June and July were HELL because of preparation for the Bar Exam and the exam itself.  August, however, was more relaxing.  Unfortunately, we did not travel as much as we did last year.  But Utah's national park and local lake were great.  The weekdays I spent cleaning a house and watching TV.  Unfortunately, I did not do much of reading, which I had planned to do after the bar exam. I explain this fact by a want to recover from a disastrous "brain damage" bar preparation caused to my delicate mind.

Starting from September I am a full-time student pursuing an LLM in Taxation degree.  I am enjoying studying tax.  It does not seem boring to me at all, as might seem to many other people.  It is not so easy either. But most important I love it.  The program is intense and that makes it not much different from a law school program. As a result I am often tired by the end of the week.  But successful passing the bar exam and following swearing-in ceremony are the best motivation for me and my efforts in being successful.  It was very hard to believe that I made it so far. But I did and hopefully will keep the same pace.

7 Ways to Smash Procrastination | Lateral Action

7 Ways to Smash Procrastination Lateral Action

I passed the Bar Exam!!!

I passed!!! I did it!!! I cannot believe it!!! I do not know what to say except maybe that I never ever should lose a confidence in my abilities. The fact that I PASSED shows that studying hard will be paid off sooner or later [better sooner, of course]!

Article Florida Law - Writing Letters

An excellent article on the subject of writing letters by attorneys to non-lawyers.

Article Florida Law - HOW TO WRITE LETTERS NONLAWYERS WILL READ

Bar Advisor

I was in the midst of my deliberation whether I should post about my feelings as to the bar exam I have taken three days ago. After reading an article (see below) I have decided to follow the advice of the author and limit my story to the following: "this was hell!" Anyway, the life is going on and you will see later how it goes for me . :-)))

Bar Advisor: "do not blog (publicly) about the bar exam until AFTER you have passed it.

Why do I say this? To begin with, a blog requires lots of psychic energy to maintain. When you draft a post, you want it to be interesting,
well-written, and timely. You worry about it before you send it off into the blogosphere where anyone can read it. When you are studying for the bar
examination, you do not have time for such a distraction and drain of mental resources.

Next, constant and public worry about failing the bar exam (which is what the majority of these bar-exam blog posts contain) will begin to infiltrate your mind and create an expectation of failure. You may not believe it, but it is true. And, guess what, if you fail, you'll be able to continue blogging about how much you hate the bar exam and your loyal readers will keep reading your posts. This is a sick form of codependency."

Court strikes down FCC indecency policy | Reuters

Court strikes down FCC indecency policy Reuters: "The U.S. Federal Communications Commission's indecency policy is unconstitutionally vague and could create a chilling effect beyond 'fleeting expletives' heard on broadcasts, an appeals court ruled on Tuesday in a major win for broadcasting companies."

Anxiety…start

It is 5 am in the morning. I am sitting on my porch in darkness with my laptop (thank you a person who created Wi-Fi). From today it is exactly 2 weeks before an exam and I am SCARED! Took a test yesterday and got frustrated – missed plenty of the points (EASY point) and forgot the simplest rules, made wrong assumptions and conclusions (EASY ones). Will I be able in two weeks to get to the point when I can say I know at least 50% of the material and PLUS I can recognize the issues? I do not know and frankly afraid of thinking of.

This is no good!

Yesterday all night I was dreaming about MPT test – what I did wrong and why, and how I should have done. MPT is the hardest part of the test for me. It is very upsetting to read how people do not even practice MPT (I do not know, however, whether they do well). They say they are doing well. I do not miss issues, but I am a very slow writer, and, frankly, I am not a good writer. As a result of lack of confidence and slowness I cannot finish even a half of the writing.

Practice, practice, practice. I am saying this to myself. Bar/Bri says. Websites say. I will try and I will see what happen; though, I am prepared for the worst.

Tough times: this summer does not exist for me, unfortunately

I was keeping myself from blogging, because I wanted to post some kind of introduction after a long absence. You see, a law school is behind now (and no regret about it). I thought maybe some thoughts related to the past three years would be a good way to open a new page of my life. But, frankly, I do not know what to write. Three years passed quickly and with many difficulties, grey thoughts and doubts. I do not think I want to look back and show my regrets or misery, if there were such (or maybe I just do not want to confess. I cannot say I had a fun time in a law school. Pressure of good grades, strong and continuous competition had been sucking out all my energy and desire to be happy and just enjoy life. Definitely I did not choose a right course of life: I did not do what I like to do (read fiction, travel, communicate with people), but selected sitting with textbooks or just doing nothing while weeping about my unhappy days in a law school. By no means have these sentences had a purpose to discourage new law school applicants from going to school (though you would better think before you make such decision). It is just a warning that before you want to bind your life with a law school, you should prepare yourself for hard work and stressful life.

Overall, it would be a lie if I say I have not enjoyed my L years in full. I loved clinic, I loved practicing law (although it was only as a student-attorney), I loved learning tricks and dark corners of tax and business law. But I hated law school exams, outlines and useless theory which is useless in the preparation for the bar exam.

Anyway, since a bar preparation is in its high peak and taking all my thoughts and dreams, I often wish to scribble something here for my own memory and perhaps even for some occasional reader of this blog as a note how it is done, how it should not be done, how it could be done and some other mixed thoughts. Since my communication is incredibly limited during those days—husband and computer—I have a need in some relief, although I'll speak to nobody.

Happy Easter!!!

Today the lent is over! I can eat meat, fish, milk, eggs, cheeses (I missed those). But being honest, I do not feel much of joy. An ideal Easter for me is to get together with my relatives and/or friends, drink a glass of good wine, eat incredibly delicious food cooked by my mom, sit and chat.

This morning started for me in blue: no time to cook except boiled eggs (since I have spent 5 hours of TV watching yesterday), bad news from home (my mom does not feel well), no time for fun (the amount of work to be done before Monday is enormous).

Yeap, this is how it goes.

I will be short

I had this urge to write at least something. I think the reason of this feeling is nothing else but a delight in avoiding by all means a school work during my spring break.

So how things were going in my life?

I had a huge load of work (and I am still having it) for my clinic. I have completed my first 35-page LLC operating agreement and now waiting for a feedback from supervising attorneys. The end of the semester is approaching rapidly but I did not do my outlining and I hate even to think about it. I work a little on networking and so far it goes well.

I betrayed my blogs by setting up Twitter account. I will be honest, I do not enjoy Twitter, since I appear to be unskillful 140-symbols typist -- I always want to write more (hey, you will never tell by my dedication to blogging, right?). However, a Twitter is a great tool to follow news. So I subscribed to WSJ legal news feed, a bunch of blogs of entrepreneurial and business lawyers and Twitter subscriptions are still open to expansion.

I have got a couple of thoughts to write about but there is no promise I'll do that.

Now back to work which I did not begin doing yet.

Cheers!

Who else can understand this if not a law student?

"It is not politically correct" (c) but I laughed out loud :-))